Here’s Why You Can’t Stay Friends with Your Ex

Breakups can be hard, and sometimes it’s even harder if your ex doubled as your best friend. Sure, sometimes romances end and the friendship can stay intact, but that generally doesn’t happen – at least not right away, and for good reason. Can you stay friends with your ex? Probably not – especially if neither of you can follow the rules.

He keeps flirting with you.

Friends don’t flirt, especially friends who are just out of a relationship with each other. There needs to be a cooling off period where you both establish boundaries and remember how to be friends again.

He shows up at your hangouts uninvited.

After a breakup, it’s good to get out and do your own thing with friends that aren’t your ex. And then he shows up at the club or movie theater you’re at anyway. Brownie points if he pretends it’s just a coincidence!

He brings up the past all the time. 

He loves bringing up your good times in hopes of triggering happy memories of your time together. Be warned: He’s trying to bring you back to the past, because that’s what he wants to be his future.

You get jealous when you see him with someone else.

Regardless of who broke up with whom, it can still be hard to see an ex with someone new. If you feel jealous, then you should probably steer clear of him for a while.

He can’t cope with the thought of you dating anyone, either.

It works both ways!

He thinks you’ll change your mind about ending your relationship.

This isn’t just condescending, it’s also a friendship breaker. Why can’t he just respect your feelings?

His family hates you.

If he lives at home or he’s close with his family, this might be a hard one to navigate through as a friend. His mom will see you as the girl who broke his heart, not the girl who’s great to have around as a buddy.

Your friends hate him.

And they probably think he’s just tagging you along, messing with your head or keeping his options open. Not the most comfortable of social situations.

He hasn’t changed… at all.

He still wants to text all day and spend the night at your place as if nothing is any different. Um, what?

The reasons you didn’t want him as a boyfriend are the same reasons you can’t have him as a friend.

Why did you break up? Is it relationship-specific, or is it something to do with his personality? Because if he’s just a bad person, then what’s the point in staying friends?

He won’t give you good advice.

If he still has feelings for you, it’s hard to give unbiased advice. He doesn’t want to see you with anyone else, so why would he try to give you guidance towards that goal?

His profile pics are STILL of the two of you.

Which was sweet… when you were together.

He tries to kiss you when he’s drunk.

When his inhibitions are down, he goes in for the kill. Oftentimes, alcohol gives us the courage to do something we don’t have to do sober, so this should be an indication that he’s still into you.

You can’t confide in him.

This might be on your end, but it might be on his, too. You feel like you can’t really talk to him like you used to, and that there’s a rift there now. It happens… but it’s a pretty sure sign that you can’t be friends with him.

He buys you extravagant gifts.

Which would be fine if it were the norm, but you don’t see him buying his best friend a new car!

He just doesn’t understand why you broke up.

They know why you broke up, so let’s not get into that again.

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