Here’s What A Guy Who’s Actually Boyfriend Material Will Be Like

If you’re not into hooking up, “keeping it casual,” or almost-relationships, then don’t just date any guy. What you want is a guy who’s actually relationship material — here’s how to spot him in the wild:

  1. He’ll make time for you without you having to ask. You both lead lives that are busy AF, but when a guy is actually interested in you and wants to build something real, he’ll figure out a way to make time to see you. You shouldn’t have to wait by the phone or beg him to spend time with you. If a guy is actually boyfriend material, he’ll know how to manage his time and keep the plans he makes with you.
  2. He’ll actually care about what you have to say. When you speak, he’ll actually listen. He’ll want to hear about the little stuff and the big stuff. He’ll be someone you can go home to at the end of a long day and vent to about all your work drama. You can share your thoughts, opinions, dreams, and what you want for your future together. He won’t be afraid to talk about feelings or your relationship in general. At the end of the day, he’ll be a man who simply cares about what’s on your mind.
  3. He won’t make you feel like you have to compete with other women. In fact, he’ll only have eyes for you. A man who’s actually boyfriend material won’t pit you against other women. He won’t have to pick between you or her because his affection isn’t a choice. You and you alone will actually be enough for him. Sure, you’ll still have to work to have a relationship, but you won’t have to compete to win his heart — and that makes all the difference.
  4. He’ll know he’s lucky to have you. Boyfriend material means a man who’ll actually appreciate you. He won’t wonder if there’s something better out there. He won’t wander off if he needs a little extra TLC. He’ll be happy just to be with you. A guy who’s fully invested in your relationship will know that you’re both so lucky to have found each other and won’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. He’ll be grateful, not greedy, and that’s exactly the type of man you need.
  5. He’ll fight for your relationship. He won’t run away when times get tough. No matter how good a relationship is, you’re going to disagree/argue/outright fight sometimes. A good man won’t ditch you at the first sign of trouble. There’ll be ups and downs in any relationship, but a guy who’s actually boyfriend material will stick by your side through thick and thin. It won’t always be easy, but when it gets hard, you’ll know that you’re with a man who’s willing to fight for you. To him, you’ll be worth it.
  6. He’ll like you for exactly the person that you are. If a man is trying to change you then he’s definitely not boyfriend material. You’re not a work in progress destined to be his next project. You’re a masterpiece and you deserve a man who sees that. A guy who’s worthy of being with you will fall in love with you for exactly who you are. He’ll like the woman he meets, not the woman he wishes you could be.
  7. He’ll know how to be honest. You don’t need a man who’s going to sugarcoat your life. You can handle the truth and furthermore, you need it. You don’t need another man who’s going to feed you lies, no matter how small or seemingly harmless they may be. If a guy is really boyfriend material, he won’t try to hide things or keep secrets just to protect your feelings. A relationship is nothing without trust, and what you really need is a man who respects the sanctity of honesty.
  8. He’ll be faithful from the start. If you’re a one-man kind of girl then you need a one-woman kind of guy. If he wants to keep his options open, then he doesn’t really want to be with you. A man who’s actually interested won’t continue to see other girls, even if you’re not officially exclusive. Being boyfriend material is all about loyalty because if you can’t satisfy his needs on your own, he’s just not right for you.
  9. He won’t be afraid to tell you how he feels. A guy who can’t handle his emotions and is too “cool” to share how he feels about you isn’t mature enough for a real relationship anyway. If a man is boyfriend material then he won’t be afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve. You need to know that he wants you so if he can’t even make that clear, you can’t wait for a man who has that much growing up to do.
  10. He’ll actually want to be your boyfriend. How is a man supposed to be boyfriend material if he’s afraid of commitment? Those men just aren’t worth the wait. If he were actually interested in you then he wouldn’t take you for granted. If a man is relationship material then at the very basic level, he should actually want a relationship. It’s really that simple.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.