Here’s How To Avoid A Relationship That Has No Future

Here’s How To Avoid A Relationship That Has No Future iStock/Sam Edwards

You know what you want your future to look like and you shouldn’t settle for anything less. Nobody likes wasted time and no one wants to give their heart to someone who isn’t worthy. Here’s how to avoid relationships that lack long-term potential.

  1. Don’t expect him to change. It’s important to have certain expectations of your partner, but waiting for them to turn into the person you believe they can be is a waste of your time. You’re basically betting that they’ll turn into your dream partner rather than being with who they are. If they’re not the person you want them to be right now then they’re not the person for you. Waiting around for someone to change is a lose-lose game. It’s unfair for them to be expected to change and it’s unfair for you to wait around for something that definitely won’t happen.
  2. Stay true to yourself. I think we’re all a little guilty of trying to impress a love interest before we’ve even assessed if they deserve our attention. Be yourself from day one. This avoids the kind of insecurity that leads you to morph into the person you think your partner wants you to be. Make it clear who you are and what you want in a relationship, which gives your partner the choice to decide if it’s a relationship they want to be invested in.
  3. Observe how he communicates with people. Paying attention to how he communicates will help you spot the red flags before you become deeply invested in the relationship. I don’t recommend spying on him, but do pay attention to how he treats his friends and family. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat and talk to people. If he treats you well but he treats other people around him in a way that you know is not right. Do not think you’re exempt from that treatment he may just be showing you what he thinks you want to see.
  4. Ask your friends what they think of your partner. Asking for opinions from the people that know you best may not be the easiest thing to do but in the long run, it’s really rewarding and may help you avoid wasting your time. If they all think that your partner is right for you then it’s definitely a green light. Getting their opinions should be the pivotal point in which you decide whether you’ll stay in the relationship or end it. Even though friends can influence your decision, in the end, it’s down to you. You’ll have to trust and be honest with yourself.
  5. Be more self-aware. Analyze your own behavior in your partner’s presence. Do you see a positive or negative change within yourself? Do you feel confident or insecure in your relationship? Are you being true to yourself or are you trying to live up to his expectations? Taking the time to analyze how you act around him will give you the clarity you need to see if it’s a relationship beneficial to your well-being.
  6. Get to know yourself. Don’t be in a relationship just to feel love and security. It’s important to be comfortable within your own presence for a successful relationship. While being single, take time to discover who you are and what your values are. Explore your limiting habits and insecurities that blocks you from opportunities and strong healthy relationships. When you’re at the point where you’re comfortable with who you are, the next step is to explore what you want in a relationship and the qualities you want your soulmate to have.
  7. Get to know each other. Find out your partner’s beliefs and values. Observe how they deal with anger and conflict. Discuss each other’s aspirations, childhood, past memories good and bad. It’s important to have a deep understanding of the person you might spend the rest of your life with. So ask questions and have deep conversations like you would with a best friend. Can you accept them for who they are? When you truly know a person, you’ll know if they’re the one for you.
  8. Avoid clashing aspirations. I know a lot of people that have been caught up in this roadblock, where the relationship is close to perfect but each person’s individual aspirations get in the way. There are situations where one wants kids and the other doesn’t or when one wants to move abroad and the other isn’t too sure. Still, they stay in the relationship with hopes that the other person will change their mind. However, there always comes a time where people feel their aspirations need to be pursued. Nobody wants to live with regrets and this can cause an end to a relationship. If you want fundamentally different things in life, recognize that it’s not going to work and move on.
  9. Always operate in truth. To operate in truth requires being each other’s counselor, having an open mind and an open heart with no judgment. This kind of relationship creates a comfortable environment for you both to express yourselves because you’re able to tell each other your struggles and concerns. When you can reassure one another and develop faith in each other to openly express emotions without judgment, that kind of trust will diminish any insecurities and doubt.
  10. Build a strong foundation. A foundation keeps itself strong with clarity, trust, respect, and love. To build this foundation you have to communicate and explore ‘what if’ situations.  How will you both deal with conflict once it arises? What will you both do if concerns of infidelity arises? How will you uplift one another during difficult times? Your foundation is a joint contribution of rules and boundaries that do not make you feel restricted but instead forms a strong bond between the two of you.
Gemma is a travelling holistic chef that loves to spend her time between France and the UK. She has a special interest writing about dating and wellness. In her spare time you'll find her glued to a book or exploring beautiful cities around the world.