Ever stay in a relationship way past the expiration date? It’s a common mistake. No need to beat yourself up, but there are definite ways to tell when it’s time to call it quits. Not all relationships are meant to last, and if you notice any of the following, it’s likely yours has run its course:
- The physical attraction is gone. Yes, your sex life will ebb and flow in a long-term relationship. You have to work at it. That’s normal, but it’s not normal if you look at him and feel nothing at all. It’s one thing to be tired or busy or have a dry spell; it’s quite another to feel like you’re lying in bed next to a platonic friend. Don’t deny yourself the pleasure of a healthy sexual partnership with the right person.
- All you do is fight. This should be an obvious sign, but sometimes you get so entrenched in a pattern with a boyfriend that you just stay. Even if you’re miserable, fighting all the time, you stay. It seems easier than dealing with breaking up, being alone, and going through the very annoying process of dating new people. You forget that you can be happier on your own.
- The bad times far outweigh the good. There will always be both, even in the best relationship. If it’s mostly awful, though, get the hell out girl. There’s no point in wasting your life on that. But I love him, you say. Yeah, well, life sucks sometimes. Everyone falls in love with the wrong person at least once, and everyone has to make the tough decision to leave that person behind. It’s complicated, but you’re blinding yourself to the facts. You aren’t happy.
- There’s no communication. There are cornerstones of any relationship: trust, honesty, patience and communication, to name a few. Communication is a biggie — don’t discount the importance. Sometimes it’s there to begin with, but disintegrates as you and your partner get comfortable and lazy. Sometimes it never existed at all, but you ignored it until you no longer could. When the communication goes, the relationship is on its way down as well.
- There are constant issues that never resolve themselves. If the two of you aren’t able to work through and fix the tough stuff, you’ll never make it. Harsh but true. There are no partnerships without compromise on both ends. If you were just hoping that someday he’d magically change, and that hasn’t happened, you might finally need to face reality.
- You don’t see him in your future. Picturing your lives together will come naturally in the right relationship. If you see a completely different future for yourself than he does for himself, this is a huge problem! You know this, but you’re in deep denial. It’s easier to focus on what you want now than face the nagging fear that he isn’t the correct guy for you. It’s not the right thing to do though. You gotta cut the cord and stop dragging this dead horse along.
- There’s a lack of respect and consideration. Do you snip at each other constantly? Do you use a tone of voice you never would have dreamed of when you were newly in love? The butterflies may fade, but the way you treat each other is supremely important. Once the respect and the desire to keep your partner happy wanes, you’re DOA. Why are you with someone if you don’t admire, respect and care for him? You wouldn’t talk to your friends that way. You absolutely shouldn’t want to speak to your guy that way either.
- You’ve gotten way too comfortable. Let’s be real, HE’S gotten way too comfortable. Why do so many men do this? It’s like they have you for three months and they start taking you for granted. It’s ridiculous. There are a few unicorns out there who don’t behave this way, but mostly it’s a problem. Women complain about this allllll the time, and it seems like everyone just ends up settling for it because who knows if anything better will ever come along. Have faith that it will, and don’t stay with someone who no longer appreciates you.
- You’re not in love anymore. You can love someone very much but not be in love with that person. It’s not about the initial spark or the lust, but that deeper romantic connection that has to sustain you over the years together. If you don’t have that, there’s something missing. You recognize it when it’s gone and you’re always going to be a little sad about it. Unfortunately, eventually you will have to move on.
