The worst part about dating is not the awkward small talk, the post-date anxiety or wondering if there are any guys out there who really want a relationship. Nope, it’s the fact that sometimes, guys disappoint before you even meet by being flaky, non-committal, and generally kind of lame. Here’s how to tell he’s a total mess before you actually get around to hanging out so you can stop wasting time and move on:
- He takes forever to make the date. Your red flags should be waving right about now. If a guy can’t make a simple first date, then you can’t date him. Period. He’s proving that he’s not interested and he’s going to end up bailing on you. Lame.
- He has a lot of inconvenient or unrealistic demands. He needs to meet you in a specific neighborhood or at a certain time of day, or he has to get back to you later because his life is just so hectic. Next. The only thing you should do when a guy gets too demanding about a first date is move on. He’s too high-maintenance and he’s not going to be able to keep the plan.
- He constantly mentions how “crazy busy” he is. He tells you this every single time you chat, even when it has nothing to do with anything you’re actually talking about. The truth is that you make time for what matters to you. If he doesn’t want to date you, then he might as well just tell you, right?
- He gives you a ton of excuses. He can’t go out with you next Monday because that’s his night to stay home. He can’t see you on a weekend because that’s when he hangs out with his friends. He has so many reasons why he can’t go out with you at a certain time, you wonder why he’s even making the date in the first place. Of course, he ends up canceling, so you were right all along.
- He doesn’t give you his phone number. It’s super normal to give a guy your phone number before you meet him in person… and expect him to actually reciprocate. After all, you need to be able to contact him if you’re late or if you can’t find him in a crowded bar. It’s just what you do. If a guy has your number but won’t write back with his own, that’s a sign that he’s super flakey.
- He changes the plan. If you agreed to meet for drinks and he ignores you for 24 hours, then writes back and says he would rather meet for coffee instead, then that’s super sketchy. If he changes the plan after you’ve already agreed on something, he’s not going to keep the date. He’s just not.
- He’s super chill — as in, way too chill. Sometimes a chill guy is attractive… and other times, he’s the worst thing ever. If you get the feeling that this dude couldn’t give a crap if he meets you or not, then the truth is that he probably doesn’t care at all and it’s not likely to happen.
- He’s too agreeable. It’s not normal for someone to always agree with everything that you say. In fact, it’s totally suspicious. At first you’re into this because everyone wants things to be as easy as possible, but after a while, you’re going to see that this doesn’t work. If this guy never gives an opinion of his own, then he’s definitely phoning this in and doesn’t give a crap if the date ever happens.
- He doesn’t take anything seriously. This is a serious warning bell, and if you don’t listen, then it’s kind of your fault if the guy flakes on you or ends up being a loser. Just being honest here. If a guy doesn’t take anything in his life seriously then he’s never going to feel that way about you.
- He doesn’t seem for real. Your gut is there for a reason when it comes to dating. You absolutely have to listen to your instincts when dealing with a new guy. If you’re getting a creepy vibe or feel like he’s going to be a total mess, then guess what? That’s exactly what’s going to happen.
