So you’ve been hooking up with a dude for a hot minute and now you’re dying to know: is it just sex or is it something more? Sometimes guys aren’t very verbally direct about what they want but their actions speak much louder than their voice ever would anyway. Here are some pretty surefire ways of testing out whether he’s interested in more than just getting laid:
He spends the night.
My last ex rarely ever spent the night despite the fact that we dated for several years and it always hurt my feelings. There’s just something about waking up next to someone you care about after you’ve slept together the night before. It shows that he’s looking to spend those intimate morning hours with you and that he’s not rushing out the door as soon as he gets off.
He doesn’t leave you on read.
He won’t ignore you for hours while he and his boys tear down some wings at Hooters. A simple text takes all of 15 seconds; if he can’t find that time in between downing some curly fries and eyeing a busty waitress, then he’s probably not interested in more than just boning.
He shows interest in your career and hobbies.
Embroidery might not be his favorite subject but if it’s a hobby you enjoy, he’ll probably ask questions and at least pretend to be interested if he cares about starting a relationship with you.
The two of you have deep pillow talk.
If you’re having conversations about REAL crap after (or before) you have sex, you’re connecting on a different level. If he shares a personal or intimate story about his life, it shows he trusts you enough to open up around you. In a society where men are constantly made to associate emotions with weakness, opening up can be a step in him not only progressing as a human but possibly taking your relationship to the next level.
He tells his boys about you.
If you’re important to him, there’s a good chance that he’ll take the time to tell his friends at least a little about you. If his friend opens up with, “So, Jake tells me you’re an engineer…” you can correctly assume he’s been talking (read: bragging) about you to his pals.
He takes his time in bed.
Now is not the time for quickies — if he takes his time trying to please you instead of jackhammering your vagina for two minutes and then falling asleep, there may be more to your relationship than just hooking up.
He doesn’t mind spending time with your friends.
Does he groan in dismay or scrunch up his face in disgust when you ask if a friend can tag along? If he doesn’t mind hanging with your girls, he’s probably interested in learning more about you. Who knows more about how and why you function the way you do better than your pals?
He shows a little PDA (assuming you’re into that).
I remember the first time my current boyfriend grabbed my hand while we were walking down a busy street with our friends. My heart legitimately dropped into my butt because I realized that we weren’t just hooking up on the privacy of our home anymore — he didn’t mind everyone knowing he was with me.
He takes care of you.
If you text him and tell him you’re not feeling well, does he respond, “No worries, see you next week!” or does he ask if he can bring you some soup? If he cares more about making you feel better than he does about getting his stroke on, he’s probably interested in a relationship.
He doesn’t run away when a problem arises.
Problems can and will happen in any relationship but how he responds is key. If, for example, he says something boneheaded that hurts your feelings, does he apologize and change his behavior or does he buck up and blame your feelings on you being too emotional? Does he leave at the first sign of a fight or does he stay and try to fix it?
He takes you to meaningful places on dates
. Instead of just going to a movie, does he grabs some sandwiches and take you to his favorite spot in the city to people watch? If he’s including you in his life and showing you places that mean something to him, chances are he’s catching the feels too.
He doesn’t mind meeting your family.
This is a huge deal to some men but for someone who is interested in dating you, it shouldn’t be a problem (ESPECIALLY if you’re close to your fam.) Giving mom a hug and shaking hands with pops requires a lot of balls – balls that have probably been in your mouth at some point (which is why the whole interaction can be awkward). However, the fact that your dude would even make an effort to meet them to make you happy speaks volumes.
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