Here’s How To Stop Worrying That You’ll Never Find Your Forever Person

It’s normal to worry that you’re never going to find someone, but just think of how long life is! There are so many opportunities out there and it’s good to do these 10 things.

  1. Ask yourself: Do you really need someone? There will be times when you feel like you could really do with having special someone in your life, usually after watching a Nicholas Sparks movie. But press pause on that flick and ask yourself: do you really need someone, and more importantly, why? You might say that you want someone to share things with or you want to have that intimacy that just can’t be achieved with friends. Even in that case, there are always ways to get your needs met. It might not be in exactly the same way as you would with a romantic partner but that doesn’t matter. For instance, having a close friend in whom you can confide won’t be the same level of intimacy but it sure does make you feel less alone.
  2. Be more patient. You’re not too old to find love—no one ever is. Love might not enter your life at this stage but everyone’s life journey is different. You might find love later in life but discover that it was worth the wait. Don’t rule out that possibility.
  3. Decide to worry at a later stage. You don’t have to worry about finding your forever person right now. There’s plenty of time for that later. Tell yourself that you’ll think about it when you hit a certain age and no sooner. Think of finding “The One” in the same way as planning what old-age home you’ll go to. Chances are you’re not thinking about old age homes right now because it’s something you’d only need to think about waaaaay into the future. Approach love in the same way. You’ll think about it later, maybe not in your 70s but definitely not now either. Then give yourself permission to go out there and live up your single years like they’re going to run out (because they probably won’t last forever).
  4. Be open to new ideas. Who says you even need to have a forever person in your future? Question the information we’ve had drummed into our minds since we were little girls playing dress up and pretending to get married. You might find that marriage is actually not something you’d want now or when planning your future. It’s certainly not an achievement.
  5. Realize you’re already winning. If you think that people who have found their forever partners are winning, you’re ignoring your own achievements. You have so many things that other people would want, so count your blessings. Remind yourself that by having connections with people that aren’t of a romantic nature, you’re still coming out on top. You’ve probably even got a better life than many people who are in romantic relationships—there are many toxic relationships out there!
  6. Remember that don’t have to chase anyone. If you want to meet your forever person, you have to make it happen. That might mean you go on lots of dates, for instance. Although it’s good to take charge of your destiny and make things happen for yourself, you don’t have to go out and chase people you think might be a good fit for you. You’ll never have to chase down what’s meant to be yours, so chill.
  7. Be open to the magic. If you read that heading and thought, “What magic? Where?” maybe you’ve become immune to life’s beauties and miracles that are all around us all the time. When you see the world as a place of opportunity, you’ll start to allow it to surprise you. You don’t know what can happen to you from one day to the next, but don’t limit yourself by putting up your own restrictions. Meet every day and person with an open heart and see what happens. Whether or not you find “The One,” you’ll have amazing experiences.
  8. Know that you’ll be okay even if you don’t find “The One.” What if it happens that you never find your forever person? The truth is that you’ll be just fine. In fact, if you take happiness into your own hands and create the most amazing life for yourself, you’ll realize you don’t actually need to have a romantic soulmate by your side. That’s just a bonus.
  9. Distract yourself so you don’t waste your life. Life moves on and passes by before you know it. Distract yourself from your worries about finding “The One” and you’ll realize that it’s so important not to waste this precious life we’ve been given. You have something your married friends would be envious of—all that single time of which they’d kill just to have some!
  10. Think of the price you’d have to pay when finding “The One.” It’s easy to think of forever relationships with rose-tinted glasses when you’re not in them, but remind yourself of what people go through in LTRs and marriage: they have to give up certain things, meet their partners halfway even when they might not want to, and sometimes they lose themselves. There’s always some compromise required to have that special person in your life. Sure, those relationships can bring you lots of joy, but that’s not always the case—if it were, the divorce rate wouldn’t be so high.


Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.