You’ve listened to enough angry breakup songs and now if you’re in the post-relationship phase where your number one desire is to make your ex rue the day they decided to break your heart and wish they had you in their life still. Here’s how to make your ex back (even if you have no intention of a reunion).

Play it cool. 

Nobody is attracted to desperation. If you want your ex to regret letting you go, you’ve got to act aloof and play it cool. It can be extremely difficult but it’s also extremely effective. If you run into them somewhere, act like you don’t see them or if you do, just wave casually and move on. If they call or text you, take a few days to get back to them.

Forget they exist.

One of the best things you can do to not only get your mind off the pain of a breakup and missing your ex but to also make them miss you is to find something to distract yourself. Whether it’s spending a ton of time with your friends, volunteering to spearhead a big project at work, picking up a new hobby, or anything else, just find something that makes you happy and keeps you busy. With less time on your hands, you’ll find yourself obsessing less and less over your ex and you’ll be surprised at how soon your ex will be blowing up your phone, checking up on you.

Date around. 

Sometimes the best way to get someone’s attention is to make them a little jealous. Dating someone else is a great way to do that. It’s important to remember that you don’t want to toy with anyone’s emotions. Don’t start dating someone exclusively with the sole intention of getting your ex’s attention. If all you’re looking for is a good time and a little distraction, be clear and honest with everyone you go out with. Let them know that you’re not looking for anything serious and let them decide if they want to move forward with you. That way no one gets their feelings hurt.

Work on yourself. 

One of the best things that you can do after a breakup is to spend some time doing things for yourself. If there are things about your life that you’ve been wanting to change or improve, focus on them. Now is the time to be selfish and date yourself. Spend all of the time you were spending on and with your ex working on yourself. You’ll be surprised what it’ll do for your confidence and it might even make your ex come back around.

Change up your look. 

Nothing is more refreshing after a breakup than changing up your look! If you’ve been wondering how you’d feel with a different haircut or hair color, a new wardrobe, or even something bigger like a new piercing or tattoo, just go for it! Changing up your look can do wonders for your self-esteem and the new you will definitely make your ex do a double take.

Give minimal information. 

If you are still in contact with your ex, if you’ve decided to stay friends and keep in touch and you want to keep them interested in you, the best thing to do is offer as little information as possible. Be vague with them about what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with. Don’t give them intel about your plans and what’s been going on in your life too much and definitely don’t overshare on social media. The less they know about you, the more curious they’ll be and they’ll surely be reaching out to you more and more.

Live your best life. 

If you are out and about living your best life post-breakup, trust me, your ex will take notice. They’ll be very jealous that you’re having the time of your life without them so, go out and do just that. Spend time with friends, go on trips, revel in your successes, and just enjoy being single and free. You’ll feel amazing and they’ll be crawling back to you in no time.

Don’t ask about him. 

As difficult as it might be, don’t ask around to mutual friends about your ex. Don’t ask anyone that knows them how they is or what they’ve been up to and certainly don’t ask about anyone they’ve been dating. Word tends to travel fast and if it gets back to your ex that you’ve been asking around for information, you’ll come off as desperate and obsessed. Just fight the urge as much as possible. As far as social media stalking goes, just don’t do it. Sure, they won’t know if you are but for your own sanity, just don’t do it.

Look to your icons. 

If you find yourself struggling with heartbreak or overwhelming emotions, look to the women you admire most in your life. How do they handle struggle and pain? What do they do? Channel their energy and embrace it for yourself. Whether your icons are women you know personally or celebrities or public figures, put yourself in their shoes and think about how they would handle the situation.

Remember who you are. 

The most important thing is to remember who you are and stay true to yourself. Sure, it can be fun to try out different styles, date around, work on yourself, and make your ex regret leaving you but at the end of the day, you have to keep being the strong, capable, confident, beautiful being you are. You can’t let what anyone thinks of you define how you’re feeling and how you live your life. Just keep being you and everything else will fall into place.

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