When you’ve been seeing a guy for a while, there comes a point where you just want to know: is he really that into you? Sure, you know he’s fond of you, but does it go deeper than that? At the end of the day, if you’re unsure about things, it’s a good idea to simply ask where you stand with him. If you’re looking for clues that it’s not at all casual and he’s actually in love with you, here are some pretty good indicators.
- He values your happiness. A guy who loves you doesn’t just think it’s nice when you’re happy – he thinks it’s important. If something makes you unhappy, he’ll do his best to circumvent that thing, if possible. If it’s not possible, he’ll make an effort to make you smile and cheer you up! Your happiness is his happiness.
- He makes you a priority in his life and puts you first. Guys who only like you will often constantly put their own convenience before your happiness. This isn’t an inherently negative thing; everyone should be their own priority! But there’s a balance to strike between being unhealthily selfless and never bothering to put others first at all. A guy who loves you, and doesn’t just like you, will consider you a priority in his life. He’ll put you first when possible and may even shift his schedule to get to see you, to be there for you, or to make room for you. It’s the effort that counts!
- He keeps you in the loop. A lot of guys can be secretive, especially with people they only like. Many people assume it’s because they have something to hide, but the reality is more mundane: they simply don’t think about you at all! What does this mean? Someone who doesn’t consider you an important part of your life won’t text you when he realizes he’ll be late because he doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Or, he might not answer your texts and pop back up days later without acknowledging his disappearance. On the contrary, a guy who loves you will keep you in the loop about the goings-on in his life, especially if they affect or pertain to you because he wants you to be a part of it.
- He looks at you in that special way. Have you ever looked at the guy in your life and caught him staring with happiness and awe? That’s a surefire way to know his affection for you runs deeper than just “liking” you! He might also look at you a lot as if he can’t keep his eyes off you. This means that guy can’t help himself. He’s simultaneously amazed and calmed by you, and that look is a special look he won’t give anyone else.
- He makes sincere efforts to improve himself and fix mistakes. Everyone has flaws and everyone makes mistakes. You and the guy in your life have your share of negative traits. When one of his negative traits hurts you, instead of defending himself and telling you why it’s your fault for being hurt, he’ll create an open dialogue. This means a guy who loves you will genuinely want to solve problems. He won’t be a doormat, of course, but he won’t invalidate you because he thinks what you have to say is important. If there’s something he can work on, he’ll make a genuine effort to improve and grow in his personal journey. When he makes mistakes, he’ll make it up to you too.
- He values your opinions. Guys who don’t actually love you don’t care at all what you think. Your opinions might as well be those of a random stranger. On the other hand, a guy who does love you will want to hear your thoughts and perspectives. Even if he doesn’t agree with them, he’ll listen to you carefully and take your opinions, advice, and ideas into account.
- He shows you his vulnerability. Boys are often taught to conceal their emotions, and this leads to a lot of men feeling uncomfortable showing their feelings to others. A guy who loves you will let you see him when he’s vulnerable, even if it’s tough for him at first. Slowly but surely, you’ll get to witness all his high and low points.
- He puts you in his future. There are so many jokes about guys and commitment issues, and though they can be somewhat exaggerated and generalizing, they have a little bit of a point. Guys who don’t love you won’t be thinking about a future with you. When a guy loves you and is ready to be serious about you, he’ll have conversations with you about the future – and when he talks about his desired future, you’ll be a part of it. Even in the beginning, he’ll talk about doing things with you – like vacations, dates, or other events – that will happen months from now, indicating his desire to date you long-term.
- He genuinely and thoroughly respects you. There can be no love without respect. A guy who loves you will deeply value and respect all aspects of you. Your time, your choices, your career, your opinions, your body… everything! He’ll never make you feel bad about parts of you and will always ensure you feel loved and appreciated.