Some ladies see it as a cardinal sin, a breakage of the mythical ‘girl code,’ but I have a confession to make: I really DGAF if my friend decides to date my ex. She doesn’t need my permission and she doesn’t need to act weird AF around me at the bar or sneak around behind my back — I’m not down with any of that BS. It doesn’t matter to me what she does or who she does it with, and here’s why:
- I don’t believe in ‘owning’ people. Just because you once dated someone; just because you swapped bodily fluids, that doesn’t mean you own them. If I had a problem with my friend dating my ex, it’d be like I owned the guy. That’s ridiculous and it isn’t what love is about at all. He’s his own person and he’s fair game.
- Telling people what to do just isn’t my thing. Honestly, I have my own stuff going on right now. I have a guy of my own, a career, a social life and, perhaps most importantly, Netflix. It just isn’t my thing to sit around here and try to control people. People are gonna do whatever they want, and frankly, that’s a relief. Their decisions have zero to do with me! Phew.
- I moved on a long time ago. Hey, it’s not like I’m sitting around pining for my ex. That would be seriously messed up. Both my life and his have moved on… and that’s just how it should be. We’re not the same people we were when we dated. It really is that simple.
- There was a reason I was with my ex. I wasn’t with this guy for no damn reason. I’m picky when it comes to men. When I get with someone, it’s real. It’s not just for the sake of it; it’s because there’s something that draws me to them like an undeniable force of nature. If my friend wants to date my ex, I kind of get it. There was a time when I wanted to date TF out of him too.
- I’m not salty — I want my ex to find someone. Newsflash: I’m not bitter. Relationships don’t always work out. It’s no huge shock. Staying bitter AF about it isn’t gonna do anyone any good. There’s just no point. I want the best for the guy — I want him to find someone who he really deserves and who deserves him. If that lady happens to be my bestie, so be it.
- All I really want is for my friend to be happy. Oh, and it’s not just my ex I want to be happy. I’m not the kind of girl to keep my friends down. What I want more than anything else is for them to be as content as possible. If my friend happens to find their bliss in my ex, I would never, ever want to take that away from them.
- The sex thing is weird but I can deal. Okay, there’s one little thing that’s a bit hard to swallow, so to speak: the sex. Can we just talk about the sex? I’ll admit that I’d find it weird if my friend starting getting down and dirty with someone I’ve already slept with. I’m human, after all. Still, I can get over that for the sake of the two of them.
- I have really good taste in guys and girls. I don’t want to brag, but the guys I’ve dated and women I’m friends with… well, they’re kind of awesome. I have great taste and I don’t go into things lightly. It wouldn’t be so weird if two people in my social circle started making googly eyes at one another. Why shouldn’t they? I know an awful lot of rad people, after all.
- Who the hell am I to stand in the way of love? If these two people really did care about each other, I’d have to be pretty callous to put try and put a stop to it. It’s none of my damn business and I know that. Love is bigger than all of us and our pettiness. (That was cheesy AF, but I won’t apologize for it, so there.)