Investing Your Emotions In Unworthy Guys Is Making You Miserable—It’s Time To Stop

It’s tempting to let your feelings run away with you when you meet a guy you actually like, but you could be making a big mistake. Ladies, this is why it’s so important to make sure the guy you’re dating is worth your emotional investment before you get in over your head.

  1. You don’t know him very well in the beginning. It’s very early stages, which means that it might be difficult to judge his character. For all you know, he could be a massive douchebag disguised as the perfect gentleman. Even the ones you think you know can also surprise you, so that’s why you must tread carefully until you’ve both agreed to be in a committed relationship.
  2. He might not want the same things as you. He might not be down for a committed relationship. While you’re daydreaming about him meeting your parents, making your relationship Facebook official and perhaps even heading down the aisle with him one day, he might just have one focus: to get into your pants. Sure, they’re not all like that, but my point is this: you don’t know him well enough to know his true intentions yet. Only time will tell.
  3. You have to protect yourself. Because you don’t know him very well and you could have different wants and needs out of your dating situation, you have to make sure that you have a bit of a guard up. If you go into the situation heart-first, that’s a surefire way of getting it broken. Try to always hold a little bit back, just in case you’ve totally misunderstood one another or misread the situation. And, if not, great!
  4. You could be wasting time on the wrong guy. Initial dating can be a bit of a waiting game until you’ve spent time with a guy to truly get to know him. It’s only as a relationship progresses and feelings deepen that things come to light. I mean, how was I supposed to know that guy I dated was having sex with multiple girls? Oh, I didn’t… until my best friend saw him all over someone else in a bar on a Saturday night, of course. My point is, you need to pace yourself when you’re dating a new guy. You don’t want to have to look back with regret.
  5. You deserve the top caliber. Fair enough if you’re only looking for a bit of fun, but if you do happen to want something more serious, then you deserve a guy who’s going to treat you impeccably. You deserve the best of the best. Don’t settle for a guy who’s going to mess you around, just because you have feelings for him. You can and will get over him.
  6. You could end up playing his games. If you’re trying to constantly figure out what page he’s on because you’re not sure that he feels the same way as you, the whole situation might turn into some kind of cat-and-mouse game. You could be trying to read signs that aren’t there or end up constantly overanalyzing his behavior, wondering why he let go of your hand first or why he hasn’t returned your text in three days. And trust me, this will make you feel like crap about yourself.
  7. You could end up getting seriously hurt. Captain Obvious over here, but if you do fall for the guy who just wants to have fun and “live the single life” then it’s going to be a bit of a nasty shock for you when you eventually find out. Not only could you end up like me, sobbing into a corner with your heart broken, but you could also end up losing faith in all men. (Yes, this happened to me too.) It’s not ideal.
  8. It has a negative impact on your self-esteem. If you end up being on completely different pages and you feel very hurt by the whole situation then you’re likely to ask yourself why he doesn’t feel the same way about you. It’s only natural to look inward and think it’s something to do with you when you should really be looking outward. If he doesn’t want to be upfront and honest and would rather treat a lady disrespectfully, then that’s on him. And you know what? You don’t want or need a guy like that. Buh-bye.
  9. You need to be smart and take things slow. It’s important not to give a guy too much until you know that you’re both definitely on the same page and want the same things. Always keep the waves of communication open for if anything ever changes. If you pace yourself and take things slowly, you’ll be able to spot the red flags more easily. It’s all about being fully aware of what you’re doing and trying not to let your feelings lead the way. There’s a saying that I try to abide by: “Follow your heart, but use your head.” This way, you’re sure to find a guy who’s worthy of your emotional investment—and don’t you dare settle for anything less!


Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at