Here’s Why You Keep Ending Up In The Same Dead End Relationships

It’s not that you don’t move on from a guy when it’s time to move on, but somehow you keep attracting the same type over and over again and it never works out right. Here are some reasons why you keep ending up the same type of relationships over and over again, which ultimately lead to a breakup.

  1. You ignore the warning signs. You swore you would never go for the unavailable type again, but you ignored this guy when he told you not to get attached because he was taking you on adorable dates.
  2. You have a very specific type. Not all tall, dark, and handsome types are going to be jerks, but so far all of yours have. What’s happening with all the slightly less tall guys out there?
  3. You’re not ready for a real relationship. Sometimes we think we want (or need) someone, but we’re actually not ready, so we do strange things subconsciously to keep people away.
  4. You just love a bad boy. Despite the fact that they’re notorious for being noncommittal. See above.
  5. You’re a sucker for the drama. It takes two to tango. Drama queens seek drama, and nothing is more dramatic then nonstop heartbreak.
  6. Your sense of worth could use a boost. Somewhere in there, you must know that you deserve better. Enlist your best girlfriends to preach about why.
  7. You think you can change people. People can only change themselves, and on their own timeline. Getting into a relationship and hoping it can change is asking for trouble.
  8. You’re not learning your lesson. Whatever it is that keeps happening, you haven’t found a way to stop it yet, so you’re going to keep attracting the lesson until you do.
  9. You change as soon as you start dating someone. If you stop being yourself in every new relationship. it’s bound to crash and burn. People need to know the real you.
  10. You haven’t found the right guy yet. Technically no one is really going to work until you find the right one, right?
  11. You hate communicating. When one or both parties isn’t big on communication, things can only get complicated… in bad ways.
  12. You don’t like to be alone. If you’re focusing on not being alone more than finding the perfect person, you might be settling.
  13. You’re terrified of truly being vulnerable. It sounds backwards, but being open and vulnerable in a healthy relationship can be harder than repeatedly ending unhealthy ones.
  14. You jump in too quickly, too fast. Sometimes when we hit it off with people, it’s hard to stay away, but with all the new good stuff going on, the overall energy and pressure gets amped up as well, which can start causing problems before you even get the chance to know each other.
  15. You have a hard time detaching. Some of us attach pretty strongly to people, which can make it hard or impossible to detach when a partner starts hurting us. Cue us staying longer than we should.
  16. You make a lot of excuses for people. Early on, you can see what might not be so great about a relationship, but you can also totally explain your way out of it.
  17. You prioritize the wrong things. Hot guys with hot cars are nice, but don’t forget to look under the hood before you buy.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog