Here’s How You Know That “New Relationship Feeling” Is Starting To Wear Off

Here’s How You Know That “New Relationship Feeling” Is Starting To Wear Off

When you first start dating someone new, it’s hard to imagine ever feeling anything less than positively blissful. You probably think they can do no wrong and if you could spend every waking moment with them, you totally would. It’s normal for that new relationship feeling to wear off, so try not to worry if you start to notice a few of these signs you’re nearing the end of the honeymoon period.

  1. You need your alone time. When you start to fall for someone new, you never want to be away from them. You think about them all the time and you’re constantly looking forward to the next time you get to hang out. Once you’ve been together for a good chunk of time, you start to want that ‘me time’ again. You know they’ll be around when you’re ready to hang out anyway, so that sense of urgency to see them isn’t really there anymore.
  2. You’ve settled into a routine. On a regular night, you know you’ll come home, eat dinner together, maybe watch a couple episodes of whatever show you’re watching at the moment, and go to bed. Maybe you have Thursday date nights or maybe you spend the week apart and then the weekend together. Whatever your routine, you don’t even have to talk about it anymore for it to run smoothly. It’s comfortably predictable.
  3. You’re a little too comfortable around each other. In the beginning of a relationship, you probably don’t fart in front of your partner, pluck your eyebrows, or discuss the ins and outs of your menstrual cycle or bowel movements. Once you’ve been together awhile, probably 50 percent of your small talk is about bodily functions. It’s not exactly sexy, but neither of you really care that much anymore. It doesn’t affect your sex life either. In fact, being that comfortable actually helps it.
  4. You never worry about when and what to text them. In the beginning, you have to play it cool. You can’t seem too invested too early or you might scare them away. Texting can become a game of strategy, which isn’t exactly a good thing, but it’s reality. That instinct to calculate every single move you make is gone once you’ve settled down together, but that’s definitely one “new relationship” feeling you’ll be glad to see go.
  5. You’ve discussed your expectations openly. Even though a new relationship can be spontaneous and exciting, it’s also full of uncertainty. Technically, it could end at any moment, but once you’re past the first few months, you’ve probably talked about what you want and made sure you’re on the same page. Once that uncertainty is gone, you’re a lot more free to get comfortable.
  6. You don’t necessarily have sex every time you hang out anymore. That new relationship sex is nothing if not frequent, but once you start seeing each other more and getting to know everything there is to know about one another, sex becomes less of a priority. It’s still plenty important, but sometimes it comes in second to a good night’s sleep or not being late for your friend’s birthday BBQ at 2 p.m. on a Saturday.
  7. You don’t have to make plans to know you’re spending time together. Since you haven’t really been integrated into each other’s lives yet, you have to plan actual activities with set times and places when you’ve just started seeing each other. Later on, they’ll just show up at your apartment after work with takeout or you’ll spend the entire weekend watching Netflix and that’s perfectly acceptable — and enjoyable.
  8. You don’t talk about them as much. In the beginning, your friends wanted to hear every detail of every date you went on. They wanted to know if the sex was good, what your S.O. does for a living, and every text they sent you. Now that you’ve been together awhile, your relationship is probably old news and you’d rather talk to your friends about something other than the minutiae of your relationship.
  9. You don’t worry about impressing them. Even if you’re going out for dinner, you don’t feel the need to spend an hour getting ready just for them. You’ll still redo your cat eye three times because you want it to be perfect, but that’s totally for your own peace of mind, not because you think they’ll notice. You’re now free to just be yourself because you know that’s all your partner wants, anyway.
  10. A fight doesn’t have to be a big deal. In the early stages, a big fight can mean certain death for your relationship. But as time goes on and arguments happen, you start to figure out how to fight productively. Fights are going to happen no matter how happy you are together, so if you’re willing to have a disagreement about something and not worry they’re going to dump you, you’re officially past new relationship status.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, Complex.ca and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo