Here’s My “List” — I Want So Little But It’s So Hard To Find

Here’s My “List” — I Want So Little But It’s So Hard To Find ©iStock/demaerre

I’m not particularly needy or high maintenance, and I don’t think my expectations about love and relationships are too high. I just won’t put up with BS.  Here’s what I want from a guy — is this too much to ask?

  1. To be able to depend on him. I’m an independent woman, but I still want a partner I can lean on when times get tough. I need someone who will always be there when I need them. Life isn’t always going to be easy, and I need to know he’s going to be there when things gets real.
  2. For him to make me a priority… Without me having to ask him first. This is a no-brainer. I feel like it’s a given that our relationship should be a priority in his life. If I’m important to him, then it honestly shouldn’t be that hard. When he’s making big plans or decisions, he should naturally include me.
  3. A little sensitivity. I’m probably a little more in touch with my emotions than most guys and that might make me a little sensitive from time to time. I don’t need him to coddle me, I just want him to be a little sensitive to my thoughts and feelings.
  4. For him to just put a little effort in. Relationships take work, but it’s seriously not that hard to make an effort. If he says he loves me, then making an effort to be with me and make our relationship work should be easy. I’m not asking anything of him that I’m not willing to do in return, so what’s the big deal?
  5. For him to love me no matter what my mood is. I’m going to have my ups and downs. Just like any other woman, I’m going to PMS on a monthly basis, and my mood swings shouldn’t make him run for the hills. I’m in touch with my feelings, and that can make me emotional, so all I’m asking for is a little love and understanding. Is that so much to ask?
  6. Some damn honesty. No matter how small he thinks a lie is, I don’t want to hear it. It takes a lot of brainpower to work up a lie, so do the easy thing and just tell the truth. If he’s not honest with me, how will I ever be able to trust him? Relationships are built on trust, and honesty is a two-way street.
  7. For him to tell me how he feels… without me having to push him. Why can men only tell you how they feel when you’re in a fight? It shouldn’t be this complicated, so he just needs to express himself every once in a while. If I’m his girlfriend, then I obviously care about how he feels, and he needs to let me.
  8. For him to be a man, not just another immature guy. The world is full of “guys,” and all I want is for him to be better than the stereotypical douchebag. I want to fall in love with a man, not another playboy waiting for his next victim. I deserve respect and true love. He needs to be ready to leave the boyhood BS behind and grow the up.
  9. For him to treat me well, no matter who’s watching. When his friends are around, he doesn’t get a free pass to be a jerk. He’s not just being “one of the guys,” he’s being an loser, and I don’t deserve that. He should love me regardless of who we’re around, and it’s pretty ridiculous that I’d even have to say this.
  10. For him to make a little time for me. I know he’s busy with work, friends and a life in general, but so am I — and I still find time for our relationship. If he can’t make room for quality time with his girlfriend, what’s the point in us even being together?
  11. For him to apologize when he hurts me (and mean it). It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t intentional, he should genuinely apologize if he does something to hurt me. If it doesn’t make him feel bad to see me hurting, then we have some serious problems. My feelings matter, so he shouldn’t brush them under the rug because he doesn’t like dealing with it.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.