Here’s What You Need To Know About Dating An Ice Queen

Here’s What You Need To Know About Dating An Ice Queen ©iStock/Viktor_Gladkov

I’ve been called an “ice queen” and a mean girl more often than I want to admit. While I do have my mean side, that doesn’t mean I don’t have a sweet side, as well. Many good women I know have been frozen out by guys because of their often brusque demeanors. Before you cast aside the Ice Queen in your life, it’s important to realize the following things…

  1. Ice Queens have been hurt. BADLY. It’s true. You don’t turn into a cold person overnight. It takes a lot of undeserved pain, doled out by people who are horrible human beings, to turn someone into an Ice Queen. So, if you’re dating one, understand that we’ve been hurt before.
  2. Still waters run deep. An Ice Queen that actually admits feelings for you has been feeling them strongly for quite some time.
  3. We build up walls to protect ourselves. If we’ve asked you to make things official, you should be pretty damned honored. It takes a lot of courage for us to make the first move and ask a guy out. Breaking down those walls may be hard, but it’s so worth it in the end.
  4. At times, we really don’t mean to be mean. A lot of times, Ice Queens aren’t trying to be cold or chilly. When you hear short, brusque answers, it’s most likely because we’ve got our minds focused on other things. If we’re saying something that’s mean, it might actually be because we’re being blunt and choosing not to sugarcoat it.
  5. Ice Queens can make very devoted girlfriends. If you don’t want to worry about loyalty or get concerned about having a girl who will just leave the moment things get inconvenient, date an Ice Queen. We don’t waste time on people we don’t care about.
  6. We’re capable of holding our own. If you’re looking for someone who can hold their own in the real world, an Ice Queen is an amazing pick. We tend to work in managerial positions because of our zero tolerance for BS, and because people tend to fall into line quickly when we’re the boss. Ice Queens are the ultimate Boss Bitches, so if that’s what you’re into, go for it.
  7. We’ll always be a chase. Some guys live for the thrill of the chase. With an Ice Queen, that chase is a 24/7, never ending journey. Expect to be thrilled. 
  8. When our Ice Queen side melts, we’ll go to the ends of the world for you. It’s amazing how much an Ice Queen will do to make our boyfriends happy. If you’re lucky enough to get into our good graces, consider yourself blessed. This is a girl who will never leave your side.
  9. We’re the kind of catch that will wow other people. Ice Queens are not easy girl to get. We’re career-oriented, scarily strong in our own right, and we have no problem living life without someone by our side. We’re boss bitches in every sense of the word. In other words, people will be just as impressed by the fact that we’re dating you as they are in our achievements.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.