No matter how many stories I see about people finding their soulmates on a dating app, I’m always going to be a skeptic—and you should be too. Here’s why you need to delete them and get back into the real world:
- YOU’RE NOT SEEING THE WHOLE PICTURE. Have you ever thought about all the guys in the world who’ve rejected the whole dating app revolution? You may feel as though you’ve swiped through a million faces, and maybe you have. The good news? There are more faces to be seen in the world. With dating apps, you’re really only seeing a small sampling of the cuties (and crazies) in your area. Put your phone away, go outside, and see what real, actual life has to offer.
- CATFISHING IS A THING. MTV’s Catfish was reason enough for me to delete my dating apps—along with the hundreds of horror stories I’ve heard from friends and read online. Maybe I’m a pessimist, but my philosophy with Tinder dudes is guilty until proven innocent. Until I have verified sources that prove you’re not a low-key serial killer looking for your next Tinderella, I’m not getting in your car, going to your apartment, or meeting you at any place other than a crowded Denny’s on a Sunday morning. Sorry, but I’ve seen Silence of the Lambs one too many times. The only lotion I’m putting on my skin is my own.
- HOLY EXPECTATIONS, BATMAN. As a rule, people only allow the best versions of themselves to be seen on dating apps. And, as a rule, their other versions are, well, not so good. I’m not just talking about looks. It’s so simple to make yourself look like a Sexy McBadass on your dating profile. It’s incredibly less simple to maintain that illusion for more than 10 minutes on a first date.
- THERE ARE SO MANY MISSED CONNECTIONS. What about all the left swipes? Granted, I haven’t been on Tinder in quite a while. I’ve heard a rumor that there’s a way to retrieve that accidental left swipe. Back in my day, a left swipe was a dead swipe—banished forever to Tinder purgatory. I can’t even tell you how many times I thought to myself, “But what if he was the one!” Your thumb is moving too fast to give you a proper chance at finding something worthwhile, in my honest, anti-dating app opinion.
- YOU’RE WASTING TIME. You’re young. These are the years to be making something of yourself. Be a go-getter—an entrepreneur. Make a life you love by making a living doing what you love. Get up early. Hustle. Go to bed late. Wash, rinse, repeat. I guess what I’m really trying to say is: STOP WASTING YOUR TIME. The likelihood of you falling in love isn’t going to dissipate by deleting your dating apps—it’s going to increase! By a BILLION! Positivity attracts positivity, and what else brings about positivity than a woman making strides in the world and doing it on her own?
- STATISTICS DON’T LIE. Did you know that 1 out of 10 sex offenders use online dating to meet other people? It’s true! While we’re at it, in 2005, 25 percent of rapists used online dating to find potential victims. Imagine how that number has multiplied in the extreme digital era we’re in now. Everyone has a smartphone, which means everyone has the world at the tip of their fingers—even the bad guys. Be safe. Be smart. Be vigilant. Delete your dating apps.
- YOU NEED TO PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE. Honestly, we’re on our phones too much anyway. Facebook, Instagram, and countless work emails—I catch myself with my eyes glued to my screen more often than I care to admit, and I’m not even using dating apps! Smartphones are wonderful, majestic little things that make our lives exponentially easier. However, it’s far too easy to neglect our friends and family while talking advantage of these useful gizmos. Dating apps can become addictive, and quickly. Give your eyes and mind a break and your fam more of your undivided attention.
- YOU SHOULD LET YOURSELF BE SURPRISED. If you’re asking me (and I’m going to pretend like you are), dating apps take all the fun out of dating. Sure, it’s exciting to see the “It’s a match!” Notification on your phone but beyond that, where’s the fun? When I think of dating, I think of seeing a cute guy across the bar, nervously flirting with him until he asks for my number, feeling my stomach do flips when he texts me the next day, picking my outfit for our first date, etc. You know, the traditional dating stuff.
- GET BACK TO THE FUN OF DATING. Dating apps do all the work for you. You think someone’s cute? Great. They think you’re cute too. Here’s a chat window so you guys can awkwardly beat around the bush until one of you eventually cancels plans. What’s the fun in that? Seriously, tell me if I’m missing it. I’d like to see dating get back to its roots: two awkward people stumbling awkwardly into one another at a seemingly inopportune time, only to find they have hella stuff in common. No profile pictures from five years ago. No spambots trying to get your credit card number. Just two real life humans and one real life connection. Doesn’t that sound nice?