Plenty of relationships have started off as just a fling that grew into something more. Assuming that he’s actually into you, the trick to getting a guy to choose to be your boyfriend usually comes down to strategy.
- If he’s dismissed the idea of you being with him, do the same to him. Have you asked him out, only to have him shut you down? Well, here’s the deal. Your best bet here is to look for other men, and to begin to treat him like a sex toy. If you decide to sleep with him, refuse to talk or cuddle afterwards. In fact, just ask him why he’s still there post-coitus. This tends to rattle guys’ egos, and also gets them thinking about what they could have with you. Don’t be shocked if he comes running back to you, asks you why you’re so cold, or does anything similar. You can have him be your boyfriend after this, but the question remains — is it really worth it?
- If he’s slowly coasting down that route, go with the flow and make your intentions known. If you two have been spending more time together, go with the flow for a bit. Let him hang out with you more frequently. Have him text you. Then, after a couple of months, ask him about your relationship status. Chances are that he’s already on board with it all. Most of the time, this is one of the best ways to get a boyfriend out of a fling.
- If he’s been keeping you in limbo, pull back without saying anything. Nothing quite tells you where you stand with a person like pulling back. Stop texting him so frequently. Stop caring about what he thinks, or what he tells you to do. He’s been getting free milk, but only offering a distant promise to buy the cow. If he doesn’t start to pursue you more aggressively, fading out might be the best thing you can do for your sanity. If he starts to freak out, simply tell him that you don’t feel like he’s as committed as you would want him to be, and that you want a relationship. If he’s freaking out, chances are high that he’ll agree to it.
- If he’s been keeping you in limbo and knows you want a relationship, confront him. There’s nothing quite as aggravating as a guy who hems and haws about a relationship status. If he’s seemingly pushing off getting to the next stage, you need to have a frank talk. This isn’t acceptable behavior. Don’t be afraid to walk away from a guy who isn’t willing to give you what you want.
- If he’s really nervous around you, ask him to be your boyfriend. Some guys honestly don’t know how to have “the talk” with someone that they really like. Many guys really do want to upgrade a girl to girlfriend status, but don’t know how to avoid rejection. The easiest way to deal with a guy who’s super nervous is to gently take the lead. It takes their fear of rejection off the table, and it makes it easier for you to get what you want.