Here’s Why Ghosting Is A Thing

Here’s Why Ghosting Is A Thing ©iStock/lechatnoir

Nothing makes a girl question her self-worth more than when a guy goes AWOL. Whether it’s after a romantic first date or weeks of hooking up, the sting of the unanswered text message hurts like hell. But is it any worse than having a guy sit you down and tell you he doesn’t like you straight up to your face? According to men, ghosting is better for everyone involved — and maybe they’re right:

  1. You get to avoid a difficult conversation. Do you really want to sit there for a half hour and listen to all the reasons he’d rather date your best friend? No. With no real evidence that the reason he’s ghosting is because there is something wrong with you, you can keep on believing in your awesomeness, which is definitely what you should be doing.
  2. You get to pick the reason it didn’t work out. Contrary to how powerless ghosting can make you feel, you actually have the power of the story. If your friends or your mom (most likely your mom) ask you why it didn’t work out, you can literally say whatever you want. Rather than paint a sob story of yet another guy who didn’t call you back, tell them you found out he didn’t like Chipotle and bailed. Because that’s obviously a dealbreaker.
  3. No tears are publicly shed. Chances are if he’s ghosting, you were probably more invested in the relationship than he was. If he suddenly stops responding, you can let out whatever emotional BS is eating you up inside from the comfort and protection of your bedroom — and no one ever has to know.
  4. They can’t lead you on. Sometimes you try to tell someone you’re not feeling it, but you do so in such a nice way that they totally misunderstand you. Though they may be silent, guys who ghost are making their message loud and clear. They don’t want to talk to you so they’re not. Doesn’t get much simpler than that.
  5. They don’t have to face hurting you. We all know guys can be a little cowardly when it comes to telling a woman how they really feel — especially when it’s not something good. My brother once told me that after telling a girl he didn’t like her, she kicked him in the balls, so now he just ghosts on girls he’s not into to avoid any further damage to his body.
  6. It can be less awkward in public. In my experience, it’s a lot weirder to say hey to someone who broke my heart in person rather than a guy who just stopped texting back. I think it’s because the idea of someone just losing interest is a lot easier to swallow than remembering how a guy told me he didn’t want to date me because I didn’t put out fast enough.
  7. You forget about ghosters. Everyone remembers the guy that dumped them in the cafeteria the day before prom, but no one remembers the dude they went on three dates with who never called them back. I don’t know about you, but I’m totally okay with having less of those heartbreaking memories to remember.
  8. There’s more of a window for him to return. If all he did was not respond, there’s still a chance he could talk to you in the future. For all you know, he got pulled into the witness protection program or his nuts ex-girlfriend came back into the picture. Now every situation is different, but I’d probably lean on the side of not giving them another chance to ghost again.
  9. He looks like less of a terrible guy. Believe it or not, most guys don’t want to be the bad guy. They don’t want to tell you that they aren’t as into you as they originally thought they were. They can sense that you’re seeing a status change in future when all they wanted was a casual fling. Not being on the same page isn’t anyone’s fault, but whoever notices it first is always the heartbreaker.
  10. You can get angry at the disrespect. Getting mad at the guy is the best way to get over him. Of course on a moral level, you deserve the truth. Even if this guy isn’t feeling it, he still owes it to you to be honest, right? Well, really, you’re better off if he doesn’t, but getting pissed at the ghoster is the best way to move on. Rather than analyze your last few messages and follow his every move on his Snapchat story, blast a bunch of Beyoncé and tell that boy bye.
Emily is a writer, dog mom, and occasional narcissist living in what her mom refers to as “a bubble.” Geographically speaking, it’s more like Daytona Beach, Florida. A graduate of the University of Central Florida, she is a community editor for a local newspaper and spends most of her time trying to convince her dog to cuddle.