It sounds really strange, but it’s a thought I can’t get rid of — I assume that every guy I date is going to cheat on me at some point. It’s not necessarily because of anything I do or say. Maybe it’s just the people I happen to attract. Even though it hasn’t openly happened yet (to my knowledge, that is), it’s something I think about quite a bit. Here’s why.
- I’ve been attracted to multiple people at once. But I also have morals. I’m not the kind of person who can openly date more than one person since I feel like I’d be hurting someone’s feelings. Yet, I’m the only person I’ve known that’s like me. I feel like the standard person may openly test the waters. Literally, the only difference between dating around and cheating are the words “will you be my girlfriend.” And, under the right circumstances, I can see a guy I date thinking one little fling — especially if it was just flirting or a kiss — wouldn’t hurt or count.
- I’ve watched way too many movies. Seriously — so many use infidelity as a plot point. Since it’s so common, it makes sense for guys to think that cheating will work out. That, or they think that they’ll be able to be so charming that I completely forgive them for slipping up. Movies don’t always paint guys in the best of light, which is why it’s no wonder I expect every guy to cheat.
- I’ve also seen a lot of true crime stories. One of the reasons why women love true crime so much is because there’s some strange level of education to it. It’s good to know the signs if your husband or boyfriend starts acting distant. It’s thrilling to look up the clues and wonder what the slain spouse should have realized ahead of time. So many true crimes start off with a partner cheating and wanting a new life. It’s really hard to shut my brain off and remind myself that not all people handle their unhappiness with adultery or murder, but it still makes me feel like it’s something literally any guy is capable of doing.
- I’m also a little pessimistic. Again, blame the true crime — and everything happening in the world with women losing their rights. If a country thinks it’s okay to deny women healthcare and pay them lower than they would a man, of course they’ll assume that it’s okay to cheat on women. I’ve had to constantly remind myself that in the eyes of many men, my happiness doesn’t matter. It’s sad that this is the world we live in, but we’re all stuck in it right now. Is there any wonder I expect every guy to cheat?
- Dating loses luster after those first three months. I can’t even tell you how many guys I thought I’d end up marrying based on the honeymoon phase. There’s nothing better than having a crush on someone and making them your official boyfriend. But then, things get a little dull and repetitive. I’ve dated a few guys who were into the honeymoon high more than me, and I get it. All it takes is a little bit of boredom and repetition for a young guy to wonder who else is out there.
- People have referred to me as “marriage material.” In their eyes, it’s a compliment. In my eyes, it’s a curse. It’s insulting to be broken up with since you know how to pay your bills on time. That said, a lot of guys want to hold onto me for later, but aren’t ready to get serious now. Thus, I expect them to try and have it both ways by cheating.
- I’m not excited to go out. I’d rather curl up and read a book. Some guys might view this as “boring.” When you’re not into the club scene, there’s a lot you don’t know about. When you’re with someone, it’s really important that you have lifestyles that are compatible. When your perfect weekend doesn’t sync up, trouble starts.
- I enjoy my independence. And, that means that I don’t need a boyfriend to be by my side every second of the day. In fact, I could go a full week without seeing my guy. That means that in my head, I expect to eventually date someone who’ll take advantage of that situation. Who knows? My last boyfriend could have been living a double life for all I know.
- Part of me thinks that maybe I’m just not worthy of love. It’s heavy but true. When you’ve had a ton of relationships fall apart and not work out, you start wondering if this is your fate. Assuming that a boyfriend would only cheat on me helps me feel better about being single. Deep down I know this isn’t true, but the brain is a crazy organ. It’s hard to dismiss this thought altogether, which is why I expect every guy to cheat.