Love it or hate it, Valentine’s Day is here. If you’re in a relationship, you’ve likely felt pressured into buying a whole lot of crap your partner probably doesn’t even want just so you can celebrate a holiday that doesn’t actually mean anything. But, if you’re less than thrilled about the “holiday of love,” you’re not alone — after all, Valentine’s Day is total BS.
It’s a completely made-up holiday! You’ve likely heard myths about Saint Valentine, the first true romantic who passed a love letter to his S.O. while awaiting the death penalty. Well, even that’s complete nonsense. According to the Catholic church, there’s not one but three Saint Valentines and no one’s quite sure what the real story is. The truth of the matter is that this is a holiday based on myths and hearsay. The real reason we celebrate it is because the stores tell us to. Duh.
It puts way too much pressure on your guy. There’s a grand total of zero pressure on us ladies when this day rolls around. No, the expectation is that our guy will break the bank to buy us only the most romantic (read: expensive AF) presents. On the other hand, all us women have to do is turn up and look pretty and maybe put out at the end of the night. Lovely.
Candy doesn’t buy you love. Um, what exactly does candy have to do with love? Sure, it’s true that chocolate boxes are the way to your heart… I mean, in the most literal sense in that the more sugary snacks you eat, the more likely you are to have cardiovascular disease. As far as I can see, the connection lives and dies right there.
Seriously, who needs another teddy bear with a heart on it? Will it honestly make you feel like your love is more ‘worthy’ when your guy buys you yet another teddy bear? Hell no. It will just end up gathering dust in the back of your closet, along with last year’s abandoned stuffed animal. Screw that.
Let’s be real — it’s capitalist BS. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that Valentine’s Day has about as much to do with love as my left sock, i.e. nothing. This holiday is just an excuse for stores, restaurants, and bars to hike up their prices in a bid to deal with the post-Christmas spending slump. Everything from having a quiet meal to buying flowers becomes utterly extortionate for just one day a year. Let’s all celebrate on the 15th, yeah?
Valentine’s Day glorifies relationships. If you’ve ever been single on the big day, you’ll know that it sucks. You’re made to feel that being alone is some kind of contagious disease more than anything else. For those of us in relationships, though, it makes us feel as though we’re somehow “special.” While that doesn’t sound so bad in itself, think about what it does to people psychologically. It makes us believe that being in a relationship is just categorically better than not… even if the relationship is abusive or just plain screwed up.
If you love someone, you should show it every day. Love doesn’t start and end on February 14th. It’s a year long fiasco or at least it should be. If a guy treats you like crap for 364 days a year and then is a complete angel on this one day, that doesn’t make him a good boyfriend — it makes him a jerk.
Being loving makes you happy. Neglecting your partner for the majority of the year is not only a ridiculous thing to do, it’s also bound to make you pretty damn sad. Let’s face it — being loving toward another human being brings you a level of happiness that you just can compare to any other. Showing compassion, care, and love to your partner means you feel fabulous and get it back. It’s not rocket science, guys.
It’s the little things that really count in relationships. I believe it’s the little things in relationships that really count. It’s the small gestures, like making someone a cup of tea or hugging them when they’re down that show how much you care. Forget OTT displays of affection. They’re superficial and easy. Working at a relationship is hard, and so it should be.
Relationships are real — Valentine’s Day is not. While teddy bears, candy hearts, and roses are all very much tangible things, they’re symbols of a fake holiday. In this life, you need to hold onto the things that are real. Your relationship is just that. Spend your time working on making it as happy and supportive as possible. Don’t waste your time buying meaningless, expensive gestures. Focus on what’s real, not fake.
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