Here’s Why You Should Wait Until You’re Someone’s First Choice

Nobody wants to be anyone’s second choice, but there are times when we settle for it for the sake of not being alone. This is one of the biggest mistakes you can make and totally unnecessary at that. Here’s why you should hold out for that special someone who will make you their first and only choice.

  1. There’s someone for everyone. Call me corny, but I truly believe that there is someone for everyone out there. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that when you’re still waiting to meet your person and everyone around you is falling in love but they’re out there. Just because you haven’t met the perfect person yet doesn’t mean they’re not out there. Have faith.
  2. Past relationships can prepare you for your soulmate. I’m not saying you won’t have to kiss a few frogs before you meet your Prince Charming because you definitely will. However, it’s important to always try to take something from the bad relationships that will help you on the journey to your forever relationship. The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is to never leave a relationship heartbroken and empty-handed. Always take a lesson from it even if that lesson is simply an example of what you never want in a relationship again. Use those experiences to help you grow and be prepared for your perfect match.
  3. You’ll never have to sweat the small stuff. When you’re with the person who chooses you first and loves you no matter what, you’ll be amazed at how much stress will be lifted from your shoulders. When you’re settling for someone who doesn’t value you or thinks that you’re replaceable, you’ll find yourself stressing over the tiniest details. You’ll constantly worry if you’re thin enough, pretty enough, available enough for them. You’ll overanalyze everything you say and do and completely suppress your own feelings in order to make sure that they’re always happy. When you know you’re expendable to someone, you worry the slightest flaw in you will send them packing and that is absolutely no way to live.
  4. You’ll never feel inadequate. I’ve definitely had my share of experiences where I felt like I wasn’t someone’s first choice and it led me to always question my own self-worth. I was constantly torturing myself with self-deprecating thoughts, sizing myself up to every other girl out there, and wondering why I wasn’t good enough or lovable enough. It takes meeting the person who chooses you first to finally open your eyes and realize that you were never the one who wasn’t good enough. The one who makes you a priority will always make you feel beautiful, important, and loved. You’ll never feel like you’re not good enough again and you’ll realize the one who treated you as a second choice was the one who wasn’t good enough.
  5. You won’t have to change yourself. When you’re in a relationship with someone who thinks of you as a backup choice, you often feel as if you have to change and mold yourself to be what you believe is their version of a perfect problem. This is wrong for so many reasons. If you’re constantly putting up a front for them, how are they ever going to know the real you? More importantly, if they make you feel like you can’t be yourself around them or they will leave you, they are certainly not the one for you. The one who chooses you first will never make you feel like you need to pretend or change yourself to be accepted.
  6. You’re too good to settle for anyone. If you’re choosing to remain in a relationship with someone who refuses to choose you first and is constantly taking you for granted and hurting you, you’re settling and that is not okay! You’re beautiful, kind, and special and you deserve someone who sees all of that in you and treats you like the prize you are!
  7. The one for you will show you a love you’ve never had before. When someone is taking you for granted and not putting you first, you might care about them and there might be small moments of happiness within that relationship, but you won’t really know just how happy and fulfilled you can feel until you meet the one who chooses you first. With them, you’ll experience a love you’ve never felt before and you’ll know what it feels like to be truly appreciated and cherished. Trust me, once you experience that feeling and that kind of relationship, you’ll wonder why you ever settled for anything less.
  8. You’ll be happier than you’ve ever been. Toxic relationships in which your partner is constantly making you feel belittled and insignificant by treating you as a backup choice or an expendable can take so much out of you emotionally, mentally, and physically. Whereas bad relationships can make you feel exhausted and burnt out, a relationship in which you’re valued will make you feel invigorated and alive. You’ll be able to succeed in every area of your life with the support of the right partner.
  9. You can get excited about the future. Being with someone who continues to choose you and cherish you will make you so excited for your future together. When you find someone who cares for you and who makes you happy, it’s only natural to fantasize about the life the two of you could have together. Whether it’s marriage, babies, traveling the globe, or building a home together, when you find that special someone who makes you feel like the only woman on earth, the sky’s the limit for what you could have together.
  10. You can rest knowing you’ve found “The One.” Not every great relationship leads to forever, but sometimes it does. Everyone says that when you know, you know and that might sound corny and unrealistic but it’s definitely true. You’re the only ones for each other and it’s an amazing feeling. That is so worth waiting for.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.