He’s Not A Mind Reader: 17 Things You Should Be Telling Your Guy Out Loud

You know what they say about those who assume, and unless you consider yourself a mind reader, you can probably remember plenty of circumstances in which you had no idea what someone was really thinking. That being said, you can’t possibly assume that your man always knows what you’re thinking, either. Here are some things that you should be expressing to him out loud, in actual words, no matter what.

  1. That you love him. If it’s new love, it’s practical to say it; if it’s a long term love, it’s just necessary. Assuming that someone knows that you love them isn’t realistic – a little reminder always helps.
  2. Any major events that have made you who you are. People tend to understand each other better when they really know why people have made the decisions that they have. Even if he doesn’t agree with you, he’ll at least be able to gauge where you were coming from.
  3. That his foreplay isn’t working. If you don’t say it (or show it), it’s never going to going to get better. Your call.
  4. How much you like his friends. If you truly connect with one or more of his friends, let him know. He’ll appreciate that you embrace the people he likes spending time with (though be careful not to do it too much, because that could cause problems of its own).
  5. That you’re irritated about something he did. He might pick up on the fact that you’re irritated, but he probably won’t know why. Cut the mystery and just explain yourself.
  6. That you want to know him better. He might feel like all of his cards are already on the table, but if you want to dig deeper he might need to hear it.
  7. Why you need alone time. Most people need alone time, but just explaining that is going to be more effective than pulling a disappearing act.
  8. That you’re scared. A common response to fear is to pull away, but accepting that vulnerability and just being honest about it usually takes you further.
  9. What you think is great about him. When is the last time that you told any of your loved ones what exactly it is that makes them amazing?
  10. That you’re over it. Slipping sideways out of relationships can seem appealing at some points, but in the long run, communication is usually going to be better.
  11. What makes you happy. Getting to know people lasts a lifetime, so never assume that he already knows all of your favorite things.
  12. That it’s you, not him. Sometimes we take things out on people that we shouldn’t. Let him know when you’re not feeling yourself and are aware that you might be overreacting. .
  13. What you want from the future. It’s better to get on the same page (or off it) earlier in relationships instead of making assumptions about it. You don’t find out later that he wants kids when you definitely don’t.
  14. That you see him in your future. Don’t assume that he knows that, at all. One of the biggest differences between a casual relationship and a serious one is the shared communication and direction.
  15. That you appreciate him keeping you in check. You might bitch about his organization obsession, but you secretly like what it’s done to your life.
  16. That you’re thinking about him. Whether he’s on a trip or just at work, letting him know that he’s on your mind will always be a sweet gesture.
  17. That he turns you on. I mean, let’s be honest — whether the relationship is new or old, who doesn’t want to hear some more of that?
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com