He’s Not Asking You Out, So Why The Hell Are You Still Waiting For Him?

In a perfect world, the guy you have your eye on would immediately reciprocate your attraction, ask you out, and you’d live happily ever after. In reality, things rarely work out quite like that. There are plenty of reasons why a guy you like might be dragging his heels on approaching you, but they’re actually more like excuses. If he likes you, he’ll ask you out, simply put. If he’s not doing that, what are you doing waiting around for him?

  1. He should know what he feels. You know what you feel about someone, usually within minutes of meeting them. At the very least, you know whether or not you’d like to get to know them better. The guy you’ve been pining over hasn’t made his move because he knows he doesn’t feel enough to ask you out. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but so much better than holding onto something that’s not real.
  2. You don’t need to show him how great you are. If a guy is dragging his feet, you might think that all he needs is a little motivation, so you whip out your sexiest LBD and snap a few selfies that he’ll see on social media and realize how hot you are. You shouldn’t have to resort to trying to show him what an amazing girlfriend you’d be. If he was interested, he would’ve seen that right away.
  3. If you’ve done your part, then you have to let it be. Of course, guys aren’t psychic and they can’t read those heavy-lidded looks in their direction as meaning, “Come over and ask me out.” They might just assume you have an allergy. So be a bit clearer that you’re into him and make sure you’re approachable, but don’t force it. If you have to chase him, things are screwed.
  4. You’re not missing out on a chance — you’re missing out on your life. Sometimes you might wait around for a guy to wake up and smell the pheromones because you fear that if you move on, you’ll miss out on a chance with him. But just think of how you’re missing out on living your life because you’re checking the phone every five minutes in case the loser calls/texts. Nope, don’t do it.
  5. Hoping he’ll come around isn’t going to make it happen. Let’s be real — if it’s been weeks or months since you’ve started crushing on this guy and he’s still not doing anything about it, you need to throw in the towel. Stop thinking that he’ll come around and decide he’s totally into you. Since when were you the type of woman to sit around and waste hours, days and weeks on a guy who’s not interested enough? You’re better than that, so act it.
  6. Even if he does ask you out, it won’t be enough. Trust me, if the guy eventually does make a move and asks you out on a date, it will never be enough because he took so long to do it. There’ll always be a doubt in your mind and you’ll wonder if you forced things or if he’s only with you because he ran out of other options. I mean, seriously — he waited how many months to make a move and now suddenly he’s all over you? It’s shady AF.
  7. Don’t let the BS lies keep you in limbo. One of the reasons why you get stuck waiting for a guy to make an official move is because of the lies men tell to spare your feelings/keep you on the hook, like, “Right now just isn’t a good time for me to date.” If you’re really into the guy, you might think that it means that now might not be the right time, but it could be soon. What BS. Don’t allow yourself to waste even more time on him because he’s basically giving you an exit. Take it and run.
  8. You’re holding onto the idea of a relationship, not the actuality. This guy you’re into is like no other. You have such an amazing connection with him and figure there’s a reason why you need to hold tight for him to ask you out, but there really isn’t a good enough one. You might think it would be so great to be his girlfriend, but you have no idea that it would be because you don’t know what he’d be like as a boyfriend since you’ve never actually dated. He might totally suck. You’re waiting around for the idea of him, while there are other guys out there who are real.
  9. A real man won’t hold back. Guys will move mountains when they’re interested in women, and they will move quickly to show you how much they’re into you. There’s no holding back and wasting your time. That’s what jerks do!
  10. You’re cutting yourself off from better men. You think other men pale in comparison to this guy, but that’s just because you have your blinders on. You’ve put this guy on a pedestal but he doesn’t deserve it — he’d ask you out if he did. There are so many better guys out there who will respect you and care about you right off the bat because they see your worth and are attracted to it. Those are the ones worthy of your time, simply because they won’t waste it.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.