He’s Not Complicated, He’s Just A Loser

He’s Not Complicated, He’s Just A Loser ©iStock/Sjale

“He’s complicated” seems to be the go-to excuse for a flustered woman who’s trying to justify a guy’s abhorrent behavior. While her friends look on in horror, the woman will tear her brain apart trying to find socially acceptable explanations for her precious walking sphincter to save him from judgment. If you find yourself doing similar mental gymnastics in regards to a guy, he’s a jerk and there’s nothing complicated about him at all.

  1. There is nothing complex about a person who acts like a jerk. There are no interesting or mysterious personality layers to peel back and discover as you get to know him. There’s only “jerks.” You shouldn’t have to spend months or years with a guy hoping that you’ll finally be treated with respect once you unravel his supposed complexity.
  2. No, you can’t change him. You won’t be the woman to show him what true love is while you break down the walls that surround his cold, dead heart. Jerks are incapable of caring about anyone but themselves, so you shouldn’t be shocked when you’re constantly put on the back burner and treated with less care than the contents of a pooper scooper. If he wants to change, he can do that on his own without sucking you or anyone else into the disaster.
  3. There’s nothing attractive about rude behavior. There’s something fundamentally wrong with looking at an ill-mannered, abusive jerk and thinking, “I want to date that guy.” You’re probably just attracted to such a person’s outspoken nature or you’re misinterpreting his harshness as confidence. It’s possible for a guy to have a backbone without being a complete schmuck.
  4. You can’t ignore his jerk ways forever. If you keep burying his destructive shortcomings deep in your subconscious, you’re going to run out of room in there eventually. When you finally snap, you’re going to realize that you spent far too much time with someone who embarrassed you and made you miserable. Don’t let yourself get to that point in the first place. Recognize a jerk for what he truly is and then run screaming in the other direction like a bear is chasing you and your butt is covered in honey.
  5. Dating an jerk makes you look like an idiot. While you tell yourself that your boyfriend is just a complicated dude, your family and friends are probably wondering what the hell is wrong with you. Did you run out of self-respect? Are you oblivious to his behavior or are you ignoring it? Do you know the guy is an jerk but date him anyway because you’re desperate? The answers to these questions will never be good and won’t do your reputation any favors.
  6. There are amazing men out there — why date a jerk? Out of all the laid-back, hilarious, intelligent men wandering around on this planet with their amazing cologne and captivating conversational skills, you picked a loser whose very presence gives everyone indigestion. Why?! Not all men are jerks and thinking that way won’t get you anywhere. If every man you meet is a jerk, you should be more concerned with your character-judging skills than the behavior of the entire male population.
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at Inside.com. While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.