If He’s Not Interested in Being Your Friend, He Was Never Worthy Of Being Anything More

If He’s Not Interested in Being Your Friend, He Was Never Worthy Of Being Anything More ©iStock/Pekic

Guys are always on high alert for signs that you’re going to friendzone them. No one likes to hear that someone they have feelings for just wants to be friends, but at the same time, if he thinks you’re that great, wouldn’t he want to keep you in his life however he can? Apparently not if it means the possibility of seeing you naked is off the table. At least you know you made the right choice — because if he doesn’t want to be your friend, he never deserved to be your boyfriend.

  1. The best relationships start as friendships. In fact, most relationships are just a really close friendship with the added bonus of regular sex. If he doesn’t see the potential benefit in getting to know you on a friend level first then he doesn’t have much confidence in his ability to win you over.
  2. Patience is a virtue. Just because you want to be friends right now, doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be open to more in the future. Maybe it’s just bad timing, but the fact that you still want to spend time with him is a good sign. If he ends up being a great friend, who knows what could happen?
  3. He probably just wanted sex anyway. Any guy who immediately shuts down the notion of being friends isn’t interested in getting to know you beyond your bra size and your favorite sexual position. If he’s not going to get to see you naked, you no longer exist to him.
  4. A real connection doesn’t have to be romantic. If he’s really as drawn to you and interested in getting to know you as he says he is, there’s no way he’d shut down the idea of being friends so quickly. Real connections are hard to come by, romantic or not, so if he’s looking for more than just a physical connection, he would jump at the chance to be your friend if that’s all you’re willing to give at the moment.
  5. Maybe he just gives up too easily. So you said you just wanted to be friends, and he should definitely respect that. But that doesn’t mean he can’t stick around and passively show you the error of your ways by being an all-around awesome guy. Of course, there’s never any guarantee you’ll change your mind, but if he’s actually worth dating, he would never expect one anyway.
  6. Getting angry about being friendzoned is a big red flag. Where one guy will just take a friendzone in stride and let a relationship fade away, another may take it as a personal attack on his character and decide he should fight back. That definitely isn’t helping his case, and will only serve to confirm that being in a relationship with him is not a good idea.
  7. Friendships can’t be forced either. If he doesn’t think you have enough of a bond to stay friends, than what makes him think you were ever going to be able to be in an actual relationship? You can’t force a friendship any more than you can force love, so if he’s not interested in one, he probably wouldn’t be interested in the other.
  8. If you don’t feel the same way towards him, you should let him go anyway. Keeping a guy on the hook when you know he has feelings for you is just selfish. If he’s honest about not being about to handle a platonic relationship with you, the only thing you can do is respect his feelings and back off. If he’s in that deep that it’s all or nothing and you don’t feel the same way, you must have a good reason– and a friendship would never work anyway.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.