He’s Saying All The Right Things, But Does He Mean Them?

You’ve been seeing a seemingly great guy and all the signs are there that he’s into you—but are you sure he’s not faking it? Here are 11 signs that while he’s saying all the right things, he’s thinking that he wants out and doesn’t know how to tell you.

  1. You catch him looking irritated. He always says that he loves hearing about your office dramas but then you catch him rolling his eyes or looking irritated when he doesn’t think you’re watching. Ouch. This can really hurt, making you feel like he doesn’t find you as interesting or engaging as he says he does.
  2. He pauses… a lot. It’s great when a guy is vocal about where he thinks the relationship is going. What’s not so great is if you need pliers to get the words out of his mouth. If he has to pause that much before answering when you ask him about defining the relationship or going on vacation together at the end of the year, his thoughts aren’t syncing well with his words. Unless you’re chatting via video, there’s no good reason for him to freeze that much in RL… unless he’s checking out.
  3. He’s the king of vagueness. He might seem really keen to spend time with you, but if he’s started to become vague when it comes to making plans, it’s a red flag. For instance, you ask him if he’d like to come over for dinner on Thursday night even though you usually hang out over the weekend and he gets all non-committal about it. If “maybe” and “not sure” have become common words in his vocabulary, he’s less certain about you than he should be.
  4. His smile is off. You can tell when a smile is genuine because it reaches the eyes and a person’s face looks relaxed. If your boyfriend’s smile looks stiff or like he’s about to burst a blood vessel in his head, he’s trying way too hard to make you seem like everything’s cool between you when it’s not. What a liar!
  5. He grinds his teeth. You’re talking to him about how much your bestie would love to meet him and his face stiffens. You can tell that he’s grinding his teeth. Damn, is he about to turn into The Hulk or something? A guy who’s losing interest is going to be a bit on edge whenever you do or suggest anything that would take things to the next level, so be aware of this.
  6. He jerks his head when you move closer. You lean in for a kiss, a little bit of PDA over dinner, and he jerks his head away as though you’re going to punch him. Yikes. Although he might say that he didn’t mean to dodge your smooch, you can’t help but be left with a bitter taste in your mouth.
  7. He’s way too calm about pretty much everything. It’s awesome when a guy can remain calm and cool during a stressful situation, but when you’re expressing how bad your day was or how mad your friends made you and he’s giving you nothing more than a neutral or vacant expression, the guy’s acting way too chilled. Is he just laid-back or is he not interested in the things you have to say? He might just be a little too comfortable and complacent in this relationship. Pass.
  8. He’s at an angle. You can tell a lot about someone’s feelings for you just by noticing their body language. If he always sits in such a way that his body is turned away from you or he places his chair so that he sits at an angle that leans away from you, it gives the impression that he’s ready to bolt from the dinner table as soon as he has a chance.
  9. His kiss feels lukewarm. Where did those passionate kisses go? Maybe they used to be there or maybe they never were (in which case, why the heck are you still dating this guy?). If kissing him feels like he’s rushing through the moment or not really giving you much more than a pair of cold, numb lips, the guy’s checking out of the relationship. No matter how many times he tells you he’s crazy about you, the truth really is in his kiss.
  10. He’s a frowner. You express an opinion or crack a joke and before he can share his view or laugh down the house, you catch him frowning at you. It seems like lately that’s all he does. It’s almost like he can’t seem to figure you out or he’s just getting annoyed with you. What the hell?
  11. He’s always acting like a clown. If your guy always seems to make light of things these days even when you’re trying to have a serious or deep conversation, then he’s really trying to distract you more than wow you with his amazing sense of humor. It’s clear that he’s not interested in taking your relationship to a deeper level. He might be a man-child when it comes to his emotions. He wants to bolt but since he’s not ready to say so, for now he’ll just continue trying to keep things light and fun. How damn convenient.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.