His Mom Was The Third Wheel In Our Relationship And It Ruined Everything

My boyfriend and I had been dating for a month when he introduced me to his mom. Thankfully, we hit it off immediately. She was fun, cooler than other moms her age, and we shared many of the same interests. If it all sounds too perfect, that’s because it was. She soon became a problem for my relationship with her son to the point that it eventually destroyed us.

  1. She used to call him every day. There’s nothing wrong with being in contact with your loved ones on a daily basis, but I sometimes felt like she was doing this to stay up-to-date with every little thing that was happening in her son’s life and our life together. Sometimes there wasn’t even anything to tell her because he’d only just talked to her a few hours prior.
  2. She was always asking private questions. She wanted to know if we’d gone on a date and once asked why I wasn’t able to meet up with him when I canceled our plans. Once, she even asked her son if I had introduced him to my family yet, which I found to be a tad too bossy because I wasn’t comfortable doing so just yet.
  3. She was always pushing us to relationship milestones. Not only was she eager to know when I would introduce her son to my family, but she would hint that we should go on a romantic vacation and get married. Once, she totally embarrassed us in public by mentioning that her son had to hurry up and give me the ring. I loved that she saw me as her future daughter-in-law, but her antics really made me feel uncomfortable.
  4. She got in touch after a fight. Once, my ex and I had a huge fight and we didn’t speak for a few days. While I waited for him to get in touch with me, it was his mom who reached out. At first I worried that she was about to tell me something had happened to her son, but instead she asked me what happened with our fight. Um, really? This woman took nosiness to another level.
  5. She pushed me to contact her son. It would have been one thing if she was calling me out of concern for me or to see that I was okay, but she was taking things to a further, more awkward level. She told me that I should make the first move and break the ice with her son. Uh, what? After telling her I didn’t feel it was right, she got into the habit of texting me every few days asking me if I’d got back together with her lovely son. She actually called him that, like she was a walking ad for him or something. It was crazy.
  6. She was more invested than he was. One of the worst things I realized during this weird relationship was that the guy’s mother was more invested in the relationship than my ex ever was. He never reached out and instead was always expecting me to make a move and get us back on track.
  7. She lacked boundaries. It was clear that his mother hadn’t renewed her subscription to relationship boundaries for ages, but worse than that was how my ex never put his own boundaries in place. He’d tell me that his mother had mentioned to him that she was getting in touch with me, but he never told her to back off a bit.
  8. She carried on with her old tricks. After the fight we had, my boyfriend and I got back on track. I was glad, but part of me was worried that this would make his mother an even bigger third wheel in our relationship. It did. One night when my boyfriend and I were at dinner, she showed up out of the blue and joined us.
  9. I reached my boiling point. She was becoming nosier by the second, even reaching the point of telling me that I had to try to motivate my ex when he’d lost his job. Then, soon after that incident, she told me that I had to keep my boyfriend in order, as if I was his keeper or something. I  just couldn’t handle it anymore! I disagreed with her dated relationship views and I was sick and tired of dealing with her.
  10. I had to end things for good. Again, I was pissed off by how my ex’s mom was more invested in our relationship than he was. I confronted him about this but he didn’t seem to care about making more of an effort. I was done. Breaking up with him was hard because I’d had feelings for him, but to be honest it was also really liberating because it meant his mom was finally out of my life for good.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.