Why You Should Be Honest Even If He’s Not

Why You Should Be Honest Even If He’s Not ©iStock/Vitapix

Honestly is always the best policy and yet, when it comes to dating, we always like to have the upper hand. We want to know how a guy feels about us before we admit we’re into him. Unfortunately, it’s not always as simple as that and there are a whole bunch of reasons why someone would hide their feelings for you. Here’s why you should always be honest, even if he’s not.

  1. You should always be yourself. Pretending you’re not all that into a guy you’ve just started seeing makes zero sense when you stop and think about it. Aren’t you over playing hard to get? It’s not junior high anymore. If you always tell a guy that you like him, then you’re going to stay true to yourself. And hey, if he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s his problem.
  2. You’ll rise above. It’s total crap that you should always act like you don’t care. Of course you care or you wouldn’t be risking a potentially horrible date in the first place. There are so many other things you could be doing. If you’re always honest, you’ll rise above the situation and come out on top.
  3. You’ll keep your pride. You might be afraid that you’ll look like a total loser if you share your feelings and the other person doesn’t feel the same way, but that’s not true. You can be vulnerable and still keep your pride. Why? Because you’re proud of who you are and know any guy would be super lucky to be with you.
  4. You’ll separate the fake from the real. If you’re cool with hanging out with someone for weeks on end without ever having some form of “The Talk,” then you need to be cool with never knowing if you’re going nowhere fast. Being honest means the fake gets separated from the real super fast. You won’t waste any time.
  5. You’ll stand out from the crowd. Gen Y is basically the anti-honesty generation right now. You’ll be super unique and different if you always tell it like it is. That makes you awesome even if you don’t get the right response back.
  6. You’ll set a precedent. So you tell this guy that you actually see a future with him and he agrees. You’re setting both of you up for total success because he’ll realize that you always want to be truthful about what’s going on. A relationship built on lies or pretending won’t lead you anywhere but an ugly break-up.
  7. You’ll be honest with yourself. Simply “hanging out” or “chilling” (with or without Netflix) not only sounds vague but can also be confusing. When you’re honest with someone else, you’re being honest with yourself, too. Giving your feelings a voice will clarify what’s going on and stop the casual nonsense.
  8. It’s the right thing to do. You might not always want to take the moral high road when most people are pretty content with treating others however the hell they want these days, and yet it’s still better to be honest than not.
  9. The next guy will be honest right back. When you go through something and don’t get the result you wanted, it’s OK because it’s just practice for the real thing. Sure, this guy might ignore you or claim he’s not ready for anything serious, but the next guy will be super excited to profess his undying love for you (or something slightly less melodramatic). That’s definitely worth waiting for.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.