An Honest Guy Will Always Win Over A “Nice Guy” In My Books

They say that nice guys always finish last, and to that I say, “Yeah, and there’s a reason for it.” So many of them hide behind the self-proclaimed label of “niceness” and do all kinds of shady BS and then wonder why they’re single. Ugh. The “nicest” guy in the world can never measure up to a guy who’s honest and straightforward.

  1. I don’t like being lied to. I don’t care how big or small the lie is—I’d much rather be with a guy who lays it to me straight than one who beats around the bush to protect my feelings. Regardless of the reason behind the lie, I don’t want to be with someone who thinks lying is normal because I can never be sure of what else he is capable of lying about and that kinda freaks me out.
  2. I like a guy with confidence. If a guy can openly speak his mind without being afraid of being judged then I think it’s safe to say he’d got loads of confidence and confidence is sexy AF to me.
  3. I don’t want to “guess” what he’s thinking. A nice guy will tend to hold back so that he doesn’t upset/worry me but that’s not what I want in a boyfriend. I want a guy who’s easy to read. I don’t want to have to nag him to tell me what’s wrong. That’s a recipe for an unhappy relationship if I ever saw one.
  4. If he’s honest, it means he’s comfortable with being himself. An honest guy isn’t trying to be someone he’s not. He’s got flaws and knows it. He’s not trying to be a perfect boyfriend, which takes the pressure off cause I’m very far from being the perfect girlfriend. He’s got a “take me as I am” attitude and that’s super inspiring.
  5. An honest guy would stick up for me at all costs. If someone wrongs me, an honest guy wouldn’t even bat an eye before springing into action and protecting me even if it means saying shady things to the perpetrator. A nice guy would avoid confronting them for as long as possible and the maybe be like, “Hey, could you maybe not? Thanks so much—sorry, she’s a bit sensitive.”
  6. I never have to worry about him betraying me because he’ll tell me first. It wouldn’t even cross my mind that my honest guy would be cheating on me because he’d have already communicated how he was feeling neglected or unloved, which are often the emotions that fuel infidelity. Nice guys tend to feel trapped in relationships and instead of talking about it, they let it build and build until they go do something crazy like cheat on their partners. I try to avoid the wrath of the nice guy by always making sure I stick with guys who are honest with me.
  7. Nice guys always put others before me. I have to remember that nice guys are eternal people pleasers and sometimes they’ll put their need to be liked by others before my happiness or safety. It sounds crazy but it’s happened to me way too many times—a nice guy will, without realizing it, throw me under the bus for a complete stranger just because he needs to be liked.
  8. Honest guys don’t randomly surprise you out of nowhere by claiming unhappy in the relationship. This is probably the one thing that irks me most about the nice guy. Years will go by and I’d have never known he was unhappy. He’s just so stuck on being nice and not hurting my feelings that he swallowed his pride and stayed with me so he wouldn’t have to break up with me. What’s so annoying about this is that we could have both saved valuable time if he only had the guts to say something. At least with an honest guy, I’ll never look back on the relationship and realize it was a lie.
  9. Telling the truth builds trust. The more honest my boyfriend is with me, the closer we become. That’s just the way relationships work. Even if it’s something that isn’t very “nice” or something that might offend me, I still want to hear it because it’s like a test of our love for each other. If he really did have faith in the relationship, he would feel free to bring up anything.
  10. Honesty = bravery. There’s a reason why most women have honesty as their number one desirable trait in a man. It shows he’s got guts and is totally fearless. Being a nice guy is no major feat. Being an honest man, on the other hand, could make you go down in history.
  11. I want a partner who’s real. Above all else, I just want a guy who’s authentic and real. That’s all I’m ever looking for when I stop to think about it. I don’t really care what type of guy he is or what he looks like. As long as he’s true to himself and his values, I’m into him.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.