Honesty Is The Best Policy — Except In These Circumstances

black girl red lips

People really like honesty. Or rather, they like the concept of honesty when it contains the words they want to hear. Just because a truth could be hurtful doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be shared, but do we need to share everything that’s true just because we can? Here are some circumstances where it might just be better to keep your mouth shut:

1. When your ex was better at sex. If for some reason your current boyfriend tries to get you to tell him who’s the best in bed, you’re probably best off saying it’s him even if it’s not. This is sort of complicated because yes, you should be communicating if there are things that you would like to be different in the bedroom, but you also don’t need to totally bum him out. Utilize that positive reinforcement.

2. When you dislike his family. Unless you’re in a relationship where the guy knows his family is trouble (and is open about discussing it), you’re only going to be asking for it by telling him that you don’t like his mom. It can be appropriate to suggest that you guys don’t spend all of your free time at her house, but that’s different than straight putting her down or gossiping about his sister. No matter what we think of our families, we can get pretty defensive when other people criticize them.

3. When you’re job hunting. This can be tricky. If you’re an honest person, you might feel like it’s appropriate to give your current job a heads up that you’re looking for something else, but this can also get you prematurely pushed out. It’s usually best to stay quiet while you do what you need to do in the meantime. Sure, you might surprise some people when you hit them with the news, but they might have already suspected it anyway.

4. When you have a harmless crush on someone you probably shouldn’t. If you’re in a relationship, you don’t necessarily have to tell your boyfriend that you have a little crush on his best friend. You might feel like it’s fine to share that since you would never actually cheat on him, but it’s probably something that he wouldn’t want to hear. Would you feel comfortable knowing that your boyfriend thought your best friend was super hot? Ugh.

5. Sharing too many details about your sex life. Of course you’re going to give your best friend the nitty gritty of what goes down in the bedroom, but your sex life is probably not something you need to be broadcasting to people outside of your close social circle. It’s not really anyone’s business, and gossip has a way of growing out of nothing, so sometimes it’s better not to add fuel to any potential fires when we’re talking with people you don’t know well.

6. When you’re trying to protect yourself. It should go without saying that you’re not obligated to tell a stranger anything personal, but when people are super friendly, sometimes we forget and turn chatty. It’s totally appropriate to lie to a guy at the drugstore about where live when he asks, just as it is to give him a fake phone number if a simple “no thanks” might not go over well.

Featured image via WeHeartIt

Read more:

10 Things You Need To Let Go Of To Live A Happier Life
Modern Dating Has Changed, But We Shouldn’t Put Up With These 7 Things
What Women With High Self-Esteem Do Differently In Relationships
10 Things You Never Want To Happen During Sex
The Right Relationship Will Change You In The Best Possible Ways
9 Things That Will Kill A Guy’s Interest, No Matter How Hot You Are
I Dated A Much Older Man & It Taught Me A Lot About Love
Being In Love Is Great, But These 13 Feelings Are Even Better

Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com