I’m A Hopeless Romantic & It’s Destroying My Love Life

I’m a hopeless romantic living in a world of ghosting and one-night stands and I’m seriously struggling. No matter how hard I try to adapt to this new world and find something real, my core romantic instincts make it extremely difficult.

  1. I need to be swept off my feet. This is just a fancy way of saying I’m super picky. I’m not one for just giving someone a chance “just because.” This is one of the biggest ways that being romantic is stopping me from a relationship. A guy needs to seriously impress me for me to even consider giving him a chance, which I understand is ridiculous. We’re all only human, but I’m looking for Prince Charming here.
  2. I only want to meet someone in person. I know it’s rare these days to not be on dating apps but I just can’t deal. What happened to bumping into someone at a coffee shop or meeting someone at a bar? I want there to be some level of mystery and organic chemistry to meeting someone. Otherwise, it’s just someone who likes your profile picture and your overused pick-up line. Let’s really find out about each other over the next round of drinks.
  3. Conditions have to be perfect for me to commit. Since I’m so picky about the type of guy I want to be with, it’s probably not a surprise to learn that I’m just as picky about what needs to be going on in my life at the time. If I’m not in a place where I know I can commit to the relationship, I won’t bother. I guess I think I owe it to the person to make sure I’m the best version of myself so I know it will work out.
  4. I’m often blinded by cheesy romantic gestures. The guy could be completely mediocre or acting like a real jerk, but if he walks me to the front door after the date or buys me flowers, look out, I’m in love! This leaves me blind to other red flags that other people easily pick up on.
  5. I give the worst relationship advice. Yep, my hopeless romantic attitude even affects my friendships. When my bestie starts dating the guy that may not be treating her the way I think she deserves to be treated, my advice is usually, “Cut the cord! Dump his ass!” which isn’t always helpful. Conversely, if he apologizes with flowers and a special weekend away, “He’s the one! Marry him!” My friends don’t really come to me for relationship advice that often…
  6. I have extremely high expectations when I do end up in a relationship. Let’s say I meet someone. I like him and he likes me and we start this thing called dating. My troubles don’t stop there. Once in a relationship with someone, my high expectations don’t falter. While most people tend to give their partner some slack once the courting is over, I still want that same level of romance. Is that too much to ask?
  7. I get my heart broken way too often. OK, so he’s passed all my insane tests, he buys me flowers every week, and we’ve been seeing each other for a while. I convince myself that he’s “The One.” The guy I’m meant to be with. That the universe has finally brought us together and we will look back on these days and tell stories to our children and… oh, we broke up. I’m heartbroken. Not only do I have to grieve the relationship since I’ve spent countless hours daydreaming about our future together in my hopeless romantic fashion, but I also have to grieve the loss of that potential life. It’s exhausting.
  8. I start thinking maybe I’m the problem. Arguably the worst part about being a hopeless romantic is the self-doubt that comes with it. Why haven’t any of these relationships worked out? Why can’t I find the love I so desperately want? Am I just too desperate? Not good enough? Once I start to doubt myself, it can easily spiral and have it affect other areas of my life. This is not fun or healthy.
  9. I waste way too much time bingeing rom-coms. If you can quote more than 90% of the lines in The Notebook, watch out girlfriend, you may be a hopeless romantic like me! This means you probably enjoy watching Rachel McAdams find love rather than face the disappointing pool of men outside in the real world. However, I do realize I’m not going to find love sitting on my couch… unless I fall for my Uber Eats delivery guy.
  10. I get emotional when I spend another Valentine’s Day single. Hallmark holidays like Valentine’s Day are my bread and butter. Suddenly everyone and everything is covered in pink and red hearts and grand romantic gestures are the norm. Everyone in the office that day gets a flower delivery and everyone is walking around with that familiar doe-eyed look. Well, everyone except me. This makes me so sad and angry because I don’t get to join in on the fun with someone I love. I just have to pretend I’m fine, go home, rent another Nicholas Sparks movie, and cry into my wine.
Greta is a freelance writer who runs on coffee and cheap wine.