I’m A Hopeless Romantic But That Doesn’t Mean I’m Naive Or An Idiot

My heart has been broken many times, yet I refuse to believe that true love isn’t real. In fact, I’m certain it is, and believing that doesn’t make me stupid or naive. Here’s why I’m so sure it’s out there for me:

  1. I’ve experienced it before. I can tell you that true love exists because I’ve experienced it. While my past relationships didn’t work out long-term, I have loved and been loved by some amazing people and consider myself incredibly lucky because of it. There’s nothing better than seeing myself through the eyes of someone who cares about me. My partner may be able to see aspects of me that I can’t. Feeling passion for another human being is an emotion I can’t substitute with anything else. I don’t think that wanting to feel like that about someone makes me naive.
  2. Love isn’t just romantic. Most of us believe that true love exists only in terms of romance, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. For instance, I learned the meaning of true love through friendship. My best friend and I care about each other and work together to accomplish our goals. True love exists between us but it’s not sexual. I don’t have to sleep with someone to love them vice versa, so I wish everyone else would open their minds in the same way.
  3. I’m ready for it. If I constantly felt like I don’t deserve love, I wouldn’t have a chance of finding it. It may seem obvious, but lots of people fall into this trap, and I was one of them. It wasn’t until I learned to love myself that I was capable of accepting love by others. Now that I’m in such a good place, I know it’s just a matter of time before it comes along.
  4. I’m not cynical, unlike most people. It’s easy to be cynical nowadays, and for a good reason. Once I’d been screwed over several times, I started to feel pretty over love, dating, and guys. However, I’ve made a concerted effort ever since to keep myself in check when I start getting too negative, because that’s half the problem in dating these days. Instead, I try to stay optimistic and assume the best of people and situations, and I’m sure it won’t lead me astray.
  5. Overthinking kills true love. The best way to find love is to live your damn life. That’s the best advice ever. I can’t put everything on hold while looking for that one right person. True love will find me whenever circumstances and chance align. It would be oh-so-convenient if I could fall in love when I have enough free time and no worries, right? Yeah, well, it doesn’t happen like that. As long as I carry on with my life, love will come to me. I can’t force it.
  6. Tinder isn’t representative of real life. Really. I call my most embarrassing Tinder story “15 second Kevin.” It’s exactly what it sounds like. I hooked up with someone without us even greeting each other. It wasn’t good, to say the least. I realized that as long as I used Tinder, I wasn’t going to find love with anyone. Believing in true love has become increasingly harder because it seems like most people are looking for a quick lay, but that’s actually not true. Since I’ve come away from the app, I’ve realized guys in real life are way less sleazy.
  7. I refuse to let anyone else dictate my beliefs. I have a friend who’s a serial dater. This girl is sporting a new boyfriend every week and every time she breaks up with him, she gives a rant on how love is BS. Guess what — I still believe in it. What works or doesn’t work for my friend has nothing to do with me. We’re all different and have to make our own judgments. I choose to believe in true love and I don’t care if people call me naive for it.
  8. I’m going against the majority. I’m the solo trooper in my friend group who believes true love is still a thing. My friends try to argue with me, but I won’t budge. Lots of people call me naive but that’s okay, I don’t care. I’m keeping my head up. I know my belief in love is what will help me find it.
  9. History tells me to believe in true love. Looking at the great love stories — Napoleon and Josephine, Romeo and Juliet, and until recently, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie — I know for sure that it’s real. Times may have changed, but human emotions haven’t. I refuse to feel stupid for believing. Arguing history is like arguing evolution — crazy and a waste of time.
  10. The person I fall in love with will be a believer too. If we all decided to stop believing in true love, we’d be doomed. It’s logical that two believers will get together. If I don’t give up on true love, sooner or later I’ll find someone who thinks likewise. This is the relationship that will work out.
Dayana is a passionate traveler who's been navigating foreign lands and confusing relationships since she was 16. You can read more of her work on Matador Network and her blog, Dee Across The Sea.