It wasn’t until I began dating women that I began to understand first-hand just how difficult we can be. I always used to think guys were being dramatic when they complained about how taxing it can be dealing with us, but now that I’m married to someone of the same sex, I totally get where they’re coming from. In fact, I’ve realized some truths that guys have been trying to tell us all along.
- There’s no winning a fight, there’s only lose now or lose later. Now I understand why men usually just let women win and move on. Women can be a-holes and have no problem playing dirty if it means winning a fight. This makes being a lesbian particularly challenging. My heart literally rips out every time I have to be the bigger person during arguments and let my spouse win. It really sucks.
- Periods are no joke — we literally become monsters. If you think one period a month is bad, try dealing with two. My wife can be all over me one minute and have a knife to my throat the next. It’s hard to notice the mood swings when they’re your own, but I get why men say they often fear for their lives when we have our periods. Kudos to them for their bravery.
- Women never forget anything, and I do mean anything. If you’re with a woman, don’t ever think you’re going to get away with anything. I’m not sure how men go through life so nonchalantly because I literally question every decision I make for fear of reprisal. It’s very likely that a woman will intentionally pick a fight about something that happened a month ago just to remind you how long your list of offenses is.
- Building things can be hard and there really shouldn’t be so many screws left over. Being a lesbian means you have to actually put together all of the ridiculous things you buy, and let me just say, that crap is hard! Men must have been born with some kind of extra ingenuity because there’s no way these items are sent out with so many spare parts. Don’t even get me started on trying to read the actual instructions. That tiny piece of paper does nothing but steal your thunder.
- We really do take forever to get ready and I’m not even sure why. “Patience is a virtue” has never rung truer. Seriously, what takes us so long to get ready?! We do most of the same things men do, but somehow a task that takes a man five minutes take women hours. Women have no problem taking their sweet time, but of course, they’ll have a complete breakdown about being late if it takes their boyfriend more than 10 mins. I’m still learning how to calm my nerves in this situation.
- Women really should not be allowed to operate motorized vehicles. My wife has brought me to more near-death experiences than I can count. I never understood growing up why the man always drove the woman around. I guess I thought it was out of chivalry, but I now understand that it’s to keep our population from dwindling. These guys are just trying to stay alive and letting a woman drive just isn’t a good way to do it. (And yes, I say that as a woman myself.)
- The phrase “I’m fine” really is torture. I honestly don’t even think women know why they do this other than for attention. No woman has ever said “I’m fine” without throwing some major shade if their significant other didn’t question further. Let’s also not forget that women never forget anything. Her “I’m fine” is probably just her remembering about that time four years ago when you forgot her dog’s birthday. I have now been through the hell that is determining why my girl definitely is NOT fine, but I should probably figure out how to fix it.
- Can women just pick a place to eat already?! As a woman, I know that the true reason I can’t decide where to eat is that I want one specific thing from five different places. Being married to a woman has shown me what it’s like to nearly starve to death while my wife lists off the minimal options available in our small town. Being married to a woman has also shown me why driving her to those five places is much easier than her just deciding on one place.
- Women are special and can truly never be replaced. No matter how psychotic women are, there is no match for the amount of love we can show. We can be so stubborn and yet so passionate. We have a unique way of making you love them and hate them all at the same time. I now understand why men put up with all of the BS and love their women unconditionally anyway.
