I don’t understand memes or why YouTubers are so popular and I definitely don’t know what “HMU” or “LMK” means. If you’re a twentysomething, internet culture should be your second language, but it’s not mine. Unfortunately, being an old soul who’s a little out of touch makes dating pretty complicated.
- I’m always out of the loop, which can make conversation awkward. Most of the time, I can’t relate to people my age, and while I usually don’t mind being out of the loop, I do wish I had someone to talk to who wouldn’t look at me like an alien because I don’t understand their references. When it comes to dating, the guy always expects me to laugh at something he saw on Facebook and when I don’t, there’s no second date.
- What exactly is a meme? I don’t get it. I do have Facebook and my friends are always posting photos, videos, and screencaps of stuff I know is supposed to be funny but I just don’t understand. Because it all just goes over my head, it’s hard for me to laugh when my date mentions a meme he saw the other day expecting it’ll be something we can bond over. He tries to explain it but then realizes it’s only funny if you saw it and got it yourself and it’s just cringeworthy.
- Slang that people use on dating apps is totally confusing. I thank God Google exists because it took me two years to understand what “JGH” and “SMH” meant. Despite being a millennial, I’m not fluent in internet or text speak. Now, more and more sentences are being cut down into letters and paired with hashtags. The more conversations I have with guys online, the less I understand, even if I have Urban Dictionary bookmarked on my browser.
- I always use the wrong terms when I actually try them. I’ve used the following phrases wrong on so many occasions: on fleek, fam, savage, and shade. What’s even worse is that nobody says any of this anymore. I’m behind the times and it’s super embarrassing. My date or boyfriend cringes because I can’t talk normally. Even when I do use slang right, they tell me it sounds weird coming from me, like a 40-year-old trying too hard to be cool.
- I’m not acting clueless about this stuff—I really am. I know it’s surprising for someone my age to be totally clueless about the internet and millennial culture, but it’s just how it is for me. I’ve tried to understand every trend, meme, and viral video hoping to be enlightened but it just hasn’t happened. It’s not an act I’m putting on to seem quirky or anything. In fact, I’ve started to wonder if there’s something wrong with me.
- My likes and interests are alien to my peers. I’m technically a millennial but my tastes beg to differ. My dates look at me like I’m speaking a foreign language whenever I talk about the stuff I’m into. Some of them outright tell me I’m like an old lady.
- I ask too many questions. Since it has been established that I don’t understand what my date or significant other is talking about, I ask questions because I truly do want to understand what all the fuss about Game of Thrones or Cardi B is about. Of course, most guys hate it because they think I should already know the answer. They find me annoying most of the time because I sound more like an out of touch middle-aged woman than someone their age.
- Exciting weekend plans are non-existent. A lot of people my age look forward to the weekend as opportunities to party, get blackout drunk, and just generally stay up and out all night living their best lives. I like staying in and getting things done. My dates are rarely into this and think it’s boring, so trying to decide on what to do for a date becomes a bit of a struggle.
- Going out at 10 p.m. is way too late for me. If we agree to go to a party and a guy tells me that it starts at 10 p.m., I’ll definitely be a no-show. It’s hard for me to believe there are so many events that start so late at night where I’m supposed to be sleeping. For most of the guys I’ve dated, their night is just beginning at midnight while mine ended hours before. Sorry, but I need a solid eight hours of sleep.
- I act more like my partner’s grandma than his girlfriend. I enjoy the smell of fresh laundry, I like knitted things, and I like to spend Sunday mornings with coffee and the newspaper. It’s the simple things that make me happy and until I find a partner who’s on the same page, I suppose I’ll stay single.
