How Can You Tell If Someone Is Authentic? Look For These 12 Signs

Sometimes when you first starting dating someone, it’s difficult to figure out whether they’re being true to themselves—and to you. However, authenticity is pretty easy to spot if you look hard enough. Keep your eyes peeled for these signs that you’re dealing with someone genuine.

  1. They don’t have to try too hard. They’re happily their imperfect self. They might trip up over their words or struggle to find the right thing to say sometimes, but who doesnt? However, generally speaking, the conversation flows and being in their company is effortless.
  2. They’re not trying to impress youWhether this is with grand romantic gestures or elaborate stories, they know they don’t have to do things they wouldn’t normally or be someone they’re not just for you to like them. Things may be flawed, rough around the edges, and sometimes not up to standard, but that’s how you know they’re 100% real.
  3. They don’t draw attention to themselves. Honest people are happy for you to take the lead in a conversation. They don’t feel the need to be center of attention or extroverted. They might not even dress up or wear designer brands if they don’t have a natural interest in fashion. This is how you can ultimately tell that someone is being genuine: they’re not trying to stand out or be the top dog in any way, shape, or form.
  4. They get mad. Real talk: human beings get angry and passionate about things. If your current beau is creating a picture that everything is perfect all the time, they’re always in good spirits, and nothing bothers them, this is just not realistic. We all have pet peeves and things that push our buttons. That’s just human.
  5. They use eye contact. People often say that the eyes are the window to the soul. Therefore, the number one sign of a liar is when they actively try to avoid your gaze. If you notice your date trying to look elsewhere or hold eye contact with you before rapidly looking away, beware. 
  6. They never cancel plans. Fake people find it so hard to keep up with their lies that they can become unreliable. As a result, they cancel plans, back out of things at the last minute, and struggle to come up with valid excuses because they’re so busy trying to be something they’re not. You’ll rarely have this problem with authentic people.
  7. Everything adds up. Another way you can tell if someone is being real is if you don’t have to second-guess what they’ve said. There’s no conflicting information or reason to believe that they’re fibbing, and things that they say generally make sense. Essentially, you never have to worry about catching them in a lie because they’re always consistent.
  8. They’re open about all aspects of their life. Likewise, nothing is off the table, you can ask them anything and they’re only too happy to tell you things about themselves and their life—even the messy stuff. Not only that, but they’re honest and unapologetic about it.
  9. They’re direct communicators. How someone communicates can also let you know how real they are. If they speak freely without trying to manage your response and aren’t trying to indulge in people-pleasing behavior, then this is a good sign. However, if they’re doing the opposite, it’s likely because they fear conflict and being “caught out.”
  10. They’re happy to divulge their social media profiles. They’re not trying to hide any aspect of their online life (in addition to their offline life). They’re happy to put forth their social media profiles and subject them to your online detective work, from Twitter and Facebook to Instagram and Snapchat. Why? Well, because they know that you’re not going to find anything suspicious or out of the ordinary.
  11. They seem close with their friends and family. Also, someone who’s trying to mask who they truly are might try and hide certain information about themselves—including who they hang around with. If they’re happy to discuss their loved ones with you, are always talking about them, and even answer their calls in front of you, this is a good sign that they’ve got nothing to be dishonest about.
  12. There are no red flags. Finally, always remember that if things are too good to be true, it’s usually because they are. On the other hand, if you’ve been given no reason to question your date’s words or actions, you should give them the benefit of the doubt until they provide you with evidence of their inauthenticity.
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at