How To Deal With A Guy Who Likes Negging

A guy comes over to you at the bar and says, “You have a really gorgeous face. If your boobs were bigger, I’d totally ask you out.” Wait, what? While part of you is flattered by the compliment, the rest is eager to slap him for insulting you. Welcome to negging. This is when a guy uses insults to bring down a woman’s confidence but combines them with flattery so she sticks around. Here’s how to deal with it.

  1. Walk away. Don’t throw your drink in his face even though he really deserves it because it will just give him a reaction. Sadly, for guys who are desperate to gain a hot woman’s attention, both positive and negative reactions appeal to them. By just ignoring it and walking away, you leave him wondering what you really thought of his comment but he’ll never know.
  2. Target his insecurity. If he’s really rubbed you the wrong way, you could go ahead and be insulting back, but do it smartly. Guys who resort to negging are usually guys who lack confidence, and you will probably see why really easily. Use that against him. So a response to the above neg could be, “Really? You’re too short to date me, honey.”
  3. Don’t fall for it. Some people claim negging is a seduction technique. Hell no. It’s not because he likes you, so don’t fall for it. It’s really done because the guy is trying to manipulate you.
  4. Don’t engage in conversation. A part of you might want to ask him what the hell is wrong with him or show him that you’re hurt, but this is what he wants. He gets to keep you chatting to him for longer if you end up having a chat about your feelings. You don’t need to understand why he’s acting like a jerk. You just need to get away from the loser.
  5. Remember that he can’t make you feel insecure. If he’s negging you, he wants you to feel insecure about something so that he gets the upper hand. But remember that he can’t do that because he has no power. You’re a queen – he’ll never throw you off your pedestal. Show him your sexiest smile, the one he’ll never see again, before you head to the dance floor to have some real fun. Show him what he’s missing.
  6. Don’t show him you’re insulted. Even if you decide to insult him back, do it in a casual way. You don’t want to show him you’re angry because he’ll thrive on this or make you angrier by calling you uptight.
  7. Roll your eyes and sigh. Show him that he’s pathetic with your body language. It’s the sigh that says, “Really? That’s the best you can do?”
  8. Talk to the guy next to him instead. Move your attention over to the guy standing next to him. That’ll piss him off because you’re not giving him the attention he so desperately craves.
  9. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. This is sometimes the best thing to do, especially if his negging comment has thrown you off balance. It gives you a chance to recollect yourself, while also killing the momentum. So he’s left at the bar wondering where you went and not getting the satisfaction of seeing you react to his negs. You win.
  10. Laugh with your best girls in front of him. Turn to your friend and laugh. Really laugh hard like you mean it (maybe practice this before heading out to a party). It’s even better if you can say something to each other in a different language that he doesn’t understand. He’ll feel mocked without you really insulting him, which will put him in his place just the same.
  11. Give him the silent treatment. Ignore the guy. Pretend that you can’t hear him. Then just start doing stuff on your phone. He’ll get the hint sooner or later.
  12. Have a bit of fun with him. Instead of getting angry or walking away, there’s a middle ground you could try with this loser. Engage in a battle of wits. Chances are, he’s not very intelligent so you’ll be able to cream him in a flash. Hopefully he’ll learn his lesson that negging is lame.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.