How Do I Get A Guy To Keep Chasing Me? How To Keep Him Wanting More

He was all over you when you first met, but after a few dates, you worry his enthusiasm might be waning. While you should never have to go overboard to maintain a guy’s interest in you because you’re amazing just as you are, it would be silly to pretend that both parties don’t need to put in a bit of extra effort to keep things interesting. Here’s how to keep him wanting more so that he won’t be able to get out out of his head.

  1. Be spontaneous to keep him on his toes. Nothing kills romance and excitability quicker than routine. Sure, it’s fine to do Netflix and takeout on Saturday nights, but what he’d like more is something that would take him by surprise. Show up at his house dressed to the nines one evening and insist on taking an impromptu trip out to a new restaurant. Grab tickets to a sports match for a team you know he likes and head out to the stadium. He’ll love being with you because he never knows what’s coming.
  2. Take control in bed. It’s nice to relinquish control in the bedroom and let him take the lead, but many guys like it when women initiate and become the aggressors from time to time. Tell him what you’re going to do to him and what you expect him to do for you and be forceful about it (though make sure he’s comfortable and consenting). Chances are, he’ll be so turned on that he won’t be able to stop thinking about it for weeks after.
  3. Get on the good side of his guy friends. Figuring out how to keep him wanting more often comes down to showing him how effortlessly you fit into his life. One way you can do this is by making sure you make a good impression on his friends. They’re his bros, the ones whose opinions he’ll most likely value over all others, so they really matter. Be friendly, open, and laid-back – if you’re in with them, you’re in with him.
  4. Avoid unnecessary drama. There’s no bigger turn-off than a grown adult who thrives on drama, and guys who experience this in relationships are likely to run for the hills ASAP. When you have an issue, communicate it directly and maturely and once it’s solved, let it go. Don’t talk crap about all your friends or all his friends, make mountains out of molehills, and turn on the histrionics thinking it’s going to reel him in. It’ll likely have the exact opposite effect.
  5. Have a full, fulfilling life outside of your relationship. The best way to keep him wanting more is by ensuring there’s more to want. You have a life outside of your relationship with him and it should be vibrant and fulfilling. There’s nothing sexier than a woman with goals and things going on who doesn’t need a guy. She wants him, and he’s way more likely to want her because of it.
Jennifer has been the managing editor of Bolde since its launch in 2014. Before that, she was the founding editor of HelloGiggles and also worked as an entertainment writer for Bustle and Digital Spy. Her work has been published in Bon Appetit, Decider, Vanity Fair, The New York TImes, and many more.