How Do You Know If You’ve Found Your Friendship Soulmate?

A friendship soulmate is someone with whom you share a deep platonic relationship. Your friendship goes about as deep as any friendship does, and you are connected at a soul level. Check out these signs that you’ve found your friendship soulmate.

  1. There’s a feeling of instant recognition when you meet them. You know that feeling of love at first sight? Well, the platonic version happens when you meet your friendship soulmate. When you meet a friend that you just click with right from the get-go, it’s a sign that you’re soulmates, even if there’s nothing romantic between you. Your friendship will grow stronger over time, but there’s a connection there from the beginning. They’ll seem familiar to you, even if you’re just meeting them for the first time.
  2. You can totally be yourself around them. Being able to be yourself around someone is super important. When you can be yourself around your friend because they won’t judge you, it’s a sign you’ve found a friendship soulmate. Needing to hide who you are, however, is a sign that you’re in a fake friendship. Not only will your platonic soulmate accept who you are, they’ll understand you and love you for it.
  3. They have your best interests at heart. Soulmate friends always want the best for you, no questions asked. While some friends only want you to succeed if you don’t surpass them, soulmate friends want you to soar to your highest potential. They have your best interests at heart and want you to thrive in life in everything you do, from your career to your love life.
  4. They support you and are happy for you. You’ll know you’ve found a soulmate friend when they’re happy to see you happy and support your every move. Posting a picture on social media? They’ll like it. Holding a book launch? They’ll be there. Need a wingman on a first date you’re nervous about? They’re only a call away. Soulmate friends always have your back.
  5. They feel your pain. Just as soulmate friends like seeing you happy, they also hate seeing you in pain. There’s not an ounce of schadenfreude here. When something doesn’t work out the way you wanted it to, your soulmate friend will be right by your side crying with you. They feel your pain as if it’s their own.

You know you’ve found your friendship soulmate when…

  1. Your friendship survives time and distance. Soulmate friendship is for life. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t seen each other for a while. Or if one of you moves to the other side of the country. Your friendship will always remain throughout that. And when you do get the chance to see each other, nothing will have changed. It will be like you were never apart.
  2. Hanging out together is easy. We all have those friends we can only handle in small doses. The ones we love, but we start to argue with if we’re in their presence for too long. Friendship soulmates are not those kinds of friends. Hanging out with them is easy. After you’ve seen them, you feel better, not worse. Their company gives you energy rather than draining you.
  3. You hate arguing with them. All friends have disagreements, even soulmate friends. But you’ll hate arguing with your soulmate friend. It won’t feel right to not be on good terms with them. And no matter how mad they make you, you’ll just want to forgive them so you can go back to being close with them. They’ll also forgive you for your mistakes, and those setbacks won’t weaken your friendship over the long run.
  4. You miss them when you don’t see them. Soulmate friendships can survive time and distance. But that doesn’t mean that you’ll enjoy being apart. You’ll know you’ve got a soulmate bestie if being away from them sucks. Do you miss them so much when you haven’t seen them for a while? Can’t wait to catch up with them again? Then they’re probably a soulmate.
  5. You both put an equal amount of effort into the friendship. Healthy friendships are a two-way street, just like healthy relationships. When you’ve got a platonic soulmate, you’ll each put in an equal amount of effort to the friendship. Why? The friendship will be important to both of you? It will be a priority to maintain that friendship for you both.
  6. You feel like each other’s family. Some say that blood is thicker than water. But those who have soulmate friendships would disagree. Even though your friend is not related to you, they feel like family. You are as comfortable around them as you would be around your sister or brother—maybe even more so! The longer your friendship goes on, the harder it will be to imagine life without them.
  7. You’re honest with each other. A classic sign of friendship soulmates is honesty. Platonic soulmates don’t just tell each other what they want to hear. They tell each other the truth. When they have to tell each other something that might be hurtful, they do it in a gentle way, always thinking about their friend’s feelings. This honesty leads to a feeling of trust, where both friends know that they can always believe in what the other is saying.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.