How Hook-Up Culture is Ruining Dating

For women, there’s a lot less stopping us from having sex whenever, and with whoever we want than there used to be, but it seems like guys expectations have also shifted. They know there are girls out there willing to jump into bed after little more than a handshake, so there’s no longer any need to pretend they are looking for more. These guys will unmatch you, block you, flat out ignore you if you say you’d like to get to know them a little before you consider getting naked in their presence. If you don’t want to have sex, he’ll keep swiping until he finds a girl that does. The question is, has the pressure to be into casual sex actually eclipsed the desire for a meaningful relationship?

  1. Double standards still exist. As far as we’ve come in women’s rights and establishing the fact that women love and want sex just as much as men do, there are still lingering opinions that a girl who sleeps around is promiscuous, and a guy who does is a stud. Women are still judged for doing the same things guys are congratulated for, which continues to give the men the upper hand.
  2. Once you get into “casual” mode, it’s hard to get out. You’ve managed to get into a groove where you’re comfortable with your choice to pursue casual arrangements rather than a real relationship. So what happens when you meet someone who could be more, and all your relationship skills are buried so deep, you can barely remember where you put them?
  3. One-time sex is rarely as good for girls as it is for guys. While guys have no problem focusing on their purely physical needs, girls need an emotional connection to really enjoy sex to the fullest. They need to feel comfortable and relaxed, which generally takes time. Bottom line— one night stands are not conducive to epic orgasms for most women.
  4. Girls are learning to suppress their feelings. If you’ve ever had sex with a guy, and then regretted it the next day, you know what I mean. You have no choice but to bury those feelings, and move on. You tell yourself, oh well, it’s not that big a deal, right?
  5. It’s making guys lazy. When a guy can actually get somewhere by simply texting “sex?” to a girl, there is clearly no need for things like manners, chivalry, or personality. Some guys are content to do the bare minimum, and the bare minimum these days is being able to grunt “sex” and get a hard-on for a penis pic.
  6. It’s making girls bitter. Most girls still appreciate a little effort, but when they’re consistently bombarded with cavemen who just learned how to text, and guys who think “nice tits” is a good pick up line, they’re going to eventually hurl their phones into the toilet and scream “I give up!” into the abyss.
  7. No one has any standards anymore. DTF? That’s all that matters. Let’s get it on.
  8. No one has the patience to get to know each other anymore. Texting for a couple days seems like a lifetime when potential sexy time is on the line. He doesn’t care that you had a pet turtle named Franklin when you were 8, he just wants to know your bra size.
  9. No one wants to settle down. Amongst all the BS, there’s always a fantastic lay or two that makes you think, hmmm, why would I want to give this up? Somehow the good times, the freedom, and the endless people to swipe through on Tinder has become more appealing than putting effort into a real relationship.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.