Here’s How I Know There’s Still Some Good Guys Left Out There

I really have no clue if there’s a slew of potential boyfriends/husbands out there ready for the finding; I do know I’ve left a trail of sorry excuses, flat-out liars, and disappointments in my past. Still, I’m pressing forward and keeping hope alive for love by keeping these thoughts in mind.

  1. There are a crapload of guys I haven’t even met yet. The current world population is about 7.7 billion people. According to the 2017 estimate, there are slightly more men than women in the world. Even though it can seem like “ALL guys are [fill in the blank with some random undesirable trait],” is that really a fair assessment to make based on the minuscule portion of samples from the male species I’ve encountered? If I’m really meant to be with only one, it’s fair to assume things shouldn’t work out with just any old guy I have already happened to bump into. “The One” could really still be out there somewhere.
  2. Life is so unpredictable. I don’t know about you, but I’m so guilty when it comes to falling in the catastrophic thinking trap. I could be faced with one minor inconvenience and immediately resort to, “OMG this is it. Good things just aren’t in the cards for me.” Yet here I am, still living and moving forward in life. Five-year plans are great and all, but who really knows what the future will look like? Being single can feel like an eternal sentence sometimes, but in all actuality, you really never know. It can all change quickly.
  3. My failed relationships weren’t completely useless. For all the bad experiences I’ve had with men and dating, there were still good memories I hold onto and valuable lessons learned. I may look back, laugh to myself, and wonder what the heck I was thinking or going through at that time. But, as my fifth-grade teacher used to say, never regret something that once made you smile. Just because a relationship turned sour or simply didn’t work out doesn’t mean it didn’t serve some sort of purpose in your life. Even if it was to show you what you don’t want and force you to focus on yourself more. If Ariana Grande can be grateful for her exes, so can you.
  4. People can change. Listen, we’re all on a journey. Some of us mature and evolve faster than others, but we all make mistakes and have some sort of baggage. It’s time to throw this elusive “perfect guy” notion out the window and accept reality. The unicorn flawless male does not exist and you’re not without cracks in your armor either. This may not sound ideal, but your best match may have been busy figuring his life out and still struggling with his personal demons when you were ready to settle down. Once he’s past that, he’ll be available to be your guy and he’ll be better for the chance to get himself together before carrying his crap over into your relationship.
  5. The media says so. OK, OK, I know I just got done talking about living in reality and whatnot. But real people make movies based on real experiences, and sometimes it’s not SO bad to dream a little. Hallmark movies have shown me that second chances can be worth giving and sometimes love has been right under your nose the whole time. So, you know what, I could’ve already met the love of my life or be talking to him presently. Once that magic little wake-up call opens my eyes, I could be seeing my current single situation in a whole new light.
  6. Other people are still settling down. Playing the comparison game is generally not a good idea, but I’m not talking about being jealous of others here. I’m simply pointing out that if there are still people of all ages finding love and coupling up, there’s a chance you could be next in line. Before it happened to them, they were single too, right? Love has always been around and it’s not going anywhere now. Patience sucks, but it’s an unavoidable virtue.
  7. I’ve met some already. I have to admit that the guys haven’t always been the problem in my past relationships. Sometimes it was me! I can’t be the only one who regrets passing up on a decent man or not appreciating a good thing I had going on. Unfortunately, my timing wasn’t always right either. I was totally stuck in the seeking out a bad boy phase for longer than I should’ve and probably curved a bunch of seemingly boring dudes. Now here I am, desperate for “boring” and sick of the f-boys and their games. Jokes on me now, huh? I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s done this and that lets me know good guys have been cast back out into the dating sea by other females who weren’t ready for something real.
  8. Being single is better for your health anyway. Hey, take it from Louise Signore, not me. This lady literally just celebrated her 107th birthday and attributes her longevity to avoiding men. I mean, would you really be here reading this article in the first place if you hadn’t been struggling with dating in the first place? A man in your life might be more stress than you were bargaining for. Maybe we all have the wrong idea and need to gain wisdom from our elder examples. Louise looked happier than ever at her NYC birthday bash and I can’t help but admire the independent woman glow she had going on.
I’m Cara, not to be confused with Carrie, although you could say I’m a Millennial Bradshaw of sorts. Pop culture connoisseur. Lover of all things creative and passionate about health and personal well-being. Follow me on IG @cara_vale_writer