Here’s How I Know I’ll Never Meet My Soulmate On A Dating App

Here’s How I Know I’ll Never Meet My Soulmate On A Dating App ©iStock/SanneBerg

Well, this is what the world has come to, I suppose. We’re so used to technology doing everything for us that we expect it to match us with our perfect life partners as well. Why wouldn’t it? It’s capable of almost everything else. Sorry, but I’m skeptical. Here’s how I know I’ll never meet my soulmate on a dating app:

  1. I refuse to use them. Pretty difficult to succeed with something you never try. Look, I’ve flirted with them in the past. All they did was make me feel worse. As soon as I cut them out, I felt better about myself. I’m not going back.
  2. I can’t take them seriously. I mean… forget the free apps; they’re a definite joke. I’ll admit that people who are paying for them are most likely more serious, but it’s still weird to me. I don’t want to make major life decisions online. I just don’t. My romantic future is not a video game.
  3. They’re full of players. I think I’ve gotten a nice, normal message maybe 2% of the time. The rest of them have been creepy as hell. No thanks. I can meet players anywhere. I don’t need to get on my phone for that.
  4. I don’t want to pay for the “good” ones. I’m gonna be real — I’m not invested enough in dating to invest money in a site. I mean, what do I care, really? I’m not making finding some dumb man my main priority. I have too much relevant crap going on.
  5. I don’t have the patience. You want me to spend a ton of time making an interesting and attractive profile, plus I have to find flattering pictures of myself doing cool stuff? Blow me. I don’t feel like selling myself to a bunch of shallow horny dudes online. I used to be an actress. I’ve had my fill of that. No more BS.
  6. I’m not down with the numbers game. People keep telling me, oh, it’s a numbers game. You just have to keep going on crappy dates until something sticks. That sounds extremely depressing to me. What a monumental waste of valuable time. It’s not worth it.
  7. I suck at making a profile. It’s too much work. I don’t want to put a bunch of effort into presenting an idea of who I am. I would rather go about my business and meet a guy in person. Then he can simply see who I am, and if he likes it, let me know. Easy as hell.
  8. I’m too skeptical for them to ever work. If I don’t believe in it, it can’t possibly happen. I just have no faith in the idea that my dream man is also messing around on a dating app. I want the kind of guy who is out in the world living and much too busy for such silly distractions.
  9. It’s entirely unromantic. I can’t help it – I’m a hopeless romantic deep down. The idea of meeting someone online hardcore depresses me. It’s such a contrived and unnatural situation. I have no heart for it. I do not believe that I’ll find true love that way.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at