Most people would argue that it’s a terrible idea to date your one-night stand, and I would tend to agree with them, but there’s always an exception to the rule. When you take this path to a relationship, there are some unique struggles, but also a lot of amazing benefits. Here’s how we ended up spending four years of our lives together with no plans to call it quits anytime soon:
We had a lot of fun in the beginning.
When you start dating the guy you randomly hooked up with, you usually don’t try to pretend like you’re on a normal first date. We had a lot of fun instead. We went on trips, we went to clubs, and hung out at the beach. It was constant adventures instead of stuffy “getting to know you” dates. Everything was easy and carefree.
And a lot of sex.
Like, constantly. It was awesome.
I didn’t believe he actually liked me.
He kept telling me, but I didn’t hear it. I felt that he had a lot of motive to lie, but not every guy is a complete player. He meant it, and I ended up believing him… eventually.
We built trust over time.
It’s difficult to trust someone who hops into bed with you that quickly. You tend to believe that it’s something they’ll do again with someone else, and you want to protect yourself from getting hurt. We didn’t trust each other at first, but over time it became completely apparent — we really only wanted each other.
We didn’t listen to anyone else’s opinion.
All these years later, it still seems like some people are waiting for us to fail. Some don’t believe that sex could ever lead to long-term relationship, despite all the evidence to the contrary. Our relationship couldn’t be stronger, and yet they’re still expecting us to fail, based entirely on how we started.
Things were never awkward or scary.
Our relationship never felt forced. The first few months of a relationship can be really uncomfortable, or feel like a long drawn out interview. We skipped that nonsense and took a “learn on the job” approach to getting to know each other. We eased our way into a relationship so slowly that it was actually impossible for either of us to panic and bail.
We made up for the initial lack of romance over time.
When you love someone, you make time for romance. Who cares if it wasn’t there at the beginning? We’ve had countless romantic dates, couple’s massages, and long fireside talks. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on romance at all. In fact, I think we have more than some couples who give their best shot at the beginning and then coast for years after.
Just because we jumped in bed with each other doesn’t mean we’re incapable of self-restraint.
There aren’t any trust or loyalty issues in our relationship. We recognize that a lot of people have one-night stands, and most of them aren’t dysfunctional people incapable of having a long term relationship. Ours happened to blossom into something more, but neither of us are worried that that night was fueled by some deep incurable character flaw or a sex addiction.
Now that things are super serious, we have a lot of carefree memories to look back on.
Some weeks now are just work, chores, errands and poopy diapers. I’m glad that we can look back at those carefree times where we had cocktails by the pool and couldn’t wait to be alone. If we’d had a more traditional relationship, I think those memories would include a lot more awkward dates, obnoxious ‘getting to know you’ questions, and the massive pressure that comes along with worrying about where a relationship is going.
We still occasionally lie about our love story.
Because “we wanted to see each other naked when we were drunk,” isn’t the romance story of the century. We aren’t embarrassed, but we also don’t want to put our older relatives in an early grave with the horror story that is the night we met. We occasionally compromise on the truth, but the people closest to us know the real story. It was a one night stand gone horribly wrong- or horribly right.
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