How Important Is Texting In Dating? Why It’s So Necessary And How To Navigate It

Texting is just as much a part of most modern relationships as talking in person or on the phone. While some couples text each other more than others, most people keep in touch to some extent on their phones. But, while texting is often a wonderful way to communicate and stay in contact, it also has some pitfalls. Here are the reasons why it’s necessary to have healthy texting skills while dating and some tips for navigating these conversations.

  1. Texting is how most people plan. While there is the rare person out there who doesn’t like to text at all, most people who are young adults or adults communicate this way. Unless your partner is really old-fashioned, you’re probably texting each other. So, it’s the main form of communication for making plans such as meeting up and dates. Whether you live with your partner or not, you need to be able to make these plans together through texting, especially if you’re both living busy lifestyles and can’t always touch base in other ways.
  2. You can keep in contact throughout your day. If you don’t live together or if you aren’t together throughout the day, texting is the perfect way to feel like you can spend more time together. Even if you can’t spend as much in-person time as you would like, you can feel more connected by sending each other little messages here and there.
  3. It’s a great way to make each other happy. Depending on your texting style, you may send your partner lots of funny texts such as memes or hilarious anecdotes. Life is difficult, and a good relationship allows you to find some happiness even when things are extra tough. Being able to get a cute message for your sweetheart or vice versa is a great way to make life a little happier. You can help cheer your partner up.
  4. Most people relate to one another through texting. It’s hard not to text in this day and age. If you’re like most people, you love using text to talk to the people you love most. You probably won’t feel like you really understand your partner or relate to them unless you’re texting. This is often how many relationships start and how people get to know one another.
  5. Communicating in a healthy way is key. The ability to talk when far apart and keep in closer contact is often great, but it can turn sour. There has to be a healthy balance here. If there’s pressure to communicate constantly or to respond right away, this could be a sign of a toxic relationship or even potentially abusive relationship. It’s important not to expect each other to be available on text 24/7.

More reasons to master texting for the sake of your dating life

texting dating

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  1. Everyone has different texting styles. Texting isn’t the same from person to person. Just like some people are more talkative or more expressive over the phone or in person, it’s the same with texting. You might be a person who likes to send many little messages throughout the day with lots of emojis, while your partner might respond less but send longer messages when they do. Just like with other methods of communication, you need to ensure you’re both happy with how you’re texting one another. Learn about each other’s texting styles.
  2. Avoid fighting over text. Fighting isn’t always bad, but fighting over text is usually not worth it. So much of human communication comes through non-verbal cues such as body language and tone of voice. So, in-person communication is usually best for sensitive subjects, and texting is usually the worst. It can be easy to send angry texts and not think about the impact. But, you’ll likely spend more time on the fight than if you talked it out together off your phones.
  3. Set boundaries together. Boundary setting is vital in all relationships, whether friendships, romantic partners, or family members. To keep texting communication healthy between the two of you, you’ll need to determine the boundaries you are both comfortable with. Have an in-person, or at least over-the-phone, convo about how much contact you expect and when you need space.
  4. Take a break from the phone sometimes. It’s healthy for everyone to step away from their phones occasionally. You both should take some breaks from texting and spend a long time with one another. Even if you’re in a long-distance relationship, you can plan video calls or phone call dates and rely less on texting for a day or more. These breaks are good for your relationship and your mental health.
  5. Remember to keep things fun. If you text each other a lot, the conversations might feel dry. Like with your other interactions, you might talk about the same topics or repeat similar interactions. This might feel comfortable, but you will want to keep the relationship from feeling stale. Think of new things to text about, such as interesting questions or sending links or emojis you normally wouldn’t.
Amanda is a queer woman living in NYC and a professional writer/storyteller. She loves poetry, TV, killer whales, activism, fandom, Captain America, and leather jackets. Amanda is passionate about sharing her experiences and hopes that other people can relate and connect to them.