How Long Does It Take A Guy To Realize He Misses You?

Things are over between you, but that doesn’t mean the book is fully closed on your relationship. You knew being a couple was no longer right for you, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want him to see what he’s missing. So, how long does it take for a guy to realize he misses you? That all depends on when and how you left his life.

What makes a guy miss you?

  1. He suddenly realizes what he’s lost. There may not be a specific event that precipitates this. He could just be playing video games on a random Saturday afternoon when he remembers how you used to make him pizza rolls so he didn’t have to interrupt his game. Little things like this are enough to snap guys back to reality.
  2. You move on with someone else. Ah, now this is a biggie. If you leave him in the dust and start dating a guy who’s more worthy of you, it’s only a matter of time before your former guy realizes he misses you. Of course, this likely also means that he doesn’t miss you at all, he’s just jealous that you moved on first.
  3. He can’t find anyone else to date. You’re a catch, right? This means it’s going to be pretty hard to replace you or find anyone on your level. If he keeps striking out in the dating field, it’s only natural that he’s going to wish he was still with you. After all, you have all the qualities he wanted in an ideal partner. Too bad he messed it all up.
  4. You cut him off/go no contact. As long as you’re around, he’s never going to get the chance to miss you. However, if you decide to block and delete him or just stop responding to his WhatsApp messages or Instagram comments, he’s going to take notice. He likely became reliant on your presence in his life. When that’s no longer there, he takes notice.
  5. Your social media selfies are extra hot. This seems silly and somewhat superficial but it’s true. Men are highly visual creatures, and part of the reason you were together was based on physical attraction. If he sees you posting hot bikini shots or other sexy selfies on Instagram, there’s no way he won’t be wishing you were still in his bed.
  6. You’re happy without him. This is a real blow to the ego for anyone of any gender. Your happiness in life isn’t reliant on your relationship status, which means you’re not going to sit around moping just because he’s no longer in your life. When he sees how well you’re doing without him, he’s going to miss you badly.

How long does it take a guy to realize he misses you?

There’s no simple answer to this question, or at least not an exact one. The answer to the question of how long it takes a guy to realize he misses you ranges anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. Where he falls within that timeframe depends on a whole host of other factors. For instance, if he didn’t want to end things with you but the decision was taken out of his hands, he might miss you pretty much immediately. If, however, he swore he was better off without you, it could take him a bit longer to come to terms with the reality of his life without you.

Regardless, if he legitimately cared about you and you were a good partner to him, he will eventually miss you. Granted, this may not always translate into a desire to get back together. However, he will still think of you fondly and go through periods of wishing you were still in his life.

What to do about it

  1. Don’t feel bad for him. He had a chance with you and he messed it up. Just because he suddenly realizes he misses you doesn’t mean you need to pity him or fall right back into his arms. He made his bed and now he’s lying in it. While it’s touching to know that he’s done enough self-reflection to recognize what he’s lost, that doesn’t change anything. You ended things for a reason.
  2. Take him to task for his bad behavior. If he does want to reopen the communication wires between you, he has some work to do. Tell him straight-up (if you haven’t already) what the problem is/was and make your position clear. While you don’t need to make him grovel, you do need to call him out and put a stop to his pity party.
  3. Keep living your life. Whether or not you eventually decide to get back together with him doesn’t matter. Your life can’t and shouldn’t halt just because a guy suddenly realizes he misses you after however long. You have other things to do, places to go, and people to see. That shouldn’t change regardless of your romantic entanglements.
  4. Do nothing. This may be the best answer of all. It’s flattering that he notices your absence from his life, but that’s not a sign that you belong together. You may be better off letting him deal with his emotions on his own. He’ll get over you… eventually.
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill