It seems like everyone has a different opinion on how long sex should last for it to be enjoyable. Everyone has their preference, but there does seem to be a general consensus when it comes to the length of the optimal sexual experience: 5.4 minutes. Do you agree?
First off, we need to stop being lazy and making excuses to stay in our sexual comfort zone. Depending on your time frame and your situation, there may not be a way to make the time to have more than just something routine that happens every night. Eventually, that’s going to start to feel tedious and a rut will develop and that’s no fun. No matter how tired, busy, or stressed you are, MAKE TIME FOR SEX and make sure you enjoy it!
GQ’s study found that a couple needs 5.4 minutes of sex (at least from women’s point of view). First off, this doesn’t include foreplay, this is simply the main event. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve never EVER finished that fast unless I was on my own and super determined. I know it’s a bit easier for dudes to get there, but I still can’t imagine that’s a realistic average for everyone. There are several other studies, and the median is around 7.5 minutes. That’s slightly better but not by much.
Maybe not everyone likes foreplay? I cry BS on that entirely. Don’t get me wrong, there’s something really appealing and sexy about the quickie and honestly, sometimes I just want to get down and fast. However, the chances of me having a legit orgasm from that are extremely slim. In that case, it’s simply for the act itself, but the goal is never to finish because I know in that situation, it’s not going to happen.
So, how much foreplay is desired if there is indeed foreplay? The Journal of Sex Research published some statistics in 2004 that stated that on average, 11-13 minutes of foreplay is ideal. YES, PLEASE. However, that was followed by the 5-7 minute range of actual intercourse which definitely seems reasonable but from a personal standpoint (and trying this myself), it’s a rarity that it works in that amount of time.
Alright, alright, I can handle a few extra minutes of sex. Some of the participants in the aforementioned study stated that ideally, they would prefer 14-16 minutes of intercourse after the 11-13 minutes of foreplay. This is something I could definitely get behind (or on top of, if needed). Less is definitely not more in this case. In this case, more is a LOT better!
Foreplay is the buildup—sex without it sucks. Most of the time, whether it’s actually touching, lingering looks or sexting, foreplay gets you in the mood and the longer that’s drawn out, the hornier people become. Why would anyone want to cut that part out of the equation? I get the impatience of just wanting to fully have sex with someone you’re into, but the waiting almost makes that whole experience so much better.
Once you’re so hot and bothered you can’t take it any longer, go ahead and dive in. The wait will have been worth it and the sensations will be magnetized because of the holdout. Haven’t you ever wanted something so, but you have to wait for it? When it finally arrives or it’s finally able to be yours, the excitement is overwhelming and the whole event is much more magical. In terms of foreplay into sex, that sounds pretty exceptional.
It also allows the connection to build between the two of you. With the exception of a one-night-stand possibly, the point of getting down and doing the dirty is because you’re into the person, or better yet, in love with them. The more time you spend expressing that love through physical acts of it, the more intense the connection usually becomes. I don’t want to scrimp on that at all. I want to get the most out of the act any time I saddle up so I’ll take as much foreplay as I can get when it comes to both outercourse and intercourse. Why not?
To most that were polled, it seems that a 20-30 minute session with both foreplay and sex isn’t out of the question at all. It’s enough to not feel rushed and not so drawn out that the whole thing is going to turn awkward and painful. Both parties will have time to get what they want (if you can be compromising, of course), and hopefully, both will have an equally enjoyable experience, which kind of is the point of doing it right? Sometimes that whole part gets lost in the rush to the orgasm, so make the time and take the time to have the best time.
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