How Loving Your Single Life Will Make You a Great Girlfriend One Day

Being single can be difficult at first, especially if you’ve just left a serious or long-term relationship. You might need some time to heal before you start feeling like yourself again but once you do, you might start to really enjoy your time being single. In fact, if you focus on the positives of simply dating yourself, you might come to find that all of your future relationships will be better – here’s why.

  1. You focus on self-care. Remembering to take care of your own needs is extremely important, even when you’re in a relationship with someone. However, when you’re dating someone, it can be harder to remember to think about yourself. When you’re single, you get the opportunity to be a little selfish and focus completely on you. When you spend this time on yourself and learn how amazing it is to give yourself the self-love you deserve, it will ensure that you always find time for yourself in all of your future relationships.
  2. You learn how to enjoy solitude. When you’re constantly in relationships, you might not have many moments where you’re alone, but when you’re single, chances are you have a lot of time to yourself. Alone time is very important, especially when you’re in a relationship because you might not think to make time for it. When you learn to enjoy your own company, it gives you a sense of peace and tranquility. Once you enter into a new relationship, you’ll be okay with giving your partner space from time to time and taking space and time for yourself because you’ll know how essential it is.
  3. You learn how to stand up for yourself. Once a relationship ends, you have time to reflect on everything that happened while you were with your ex, both good and bad. Something that’s common after a breakup, especially if you were in an unhealthy relationship, is thinking back on all of the red flags and things that happened that weren’t okay but that you may have turned a blind eye to. You can use this time of singlehood to give yourself confidence and promise yourself that you’ll never let someone treat you badly or take advantage of you again. Once you find someone new, you’ll speak up for yourself if something happens that you’re not okay with and it’ll make you a better, stronger partner.
  4. You learn what you want. Another benefit of being single is that you have the time to think about all of the qualities you want in future partners and create different standards for yourself than you’ve maybe had in the past. Think about all of the things that you want for yourself and when you’re ready to get out there and date again, you’ll know exactly what you’re looking for, and not only will you find better people to date but you’ll be better yourself because you’ll know what you want and won’t settle for anything less.
  5. You won’t feel desperate. If you haven’t been single for a long time, the idea of being alone can be really scary. You might not be sure how you’ll feel and how you’ll deal without having a partner next to you. You may have even stayed in relationships that you weren’t happy in simply because the idea of being single was too frightening. Once you actually experience singlehood and realize how freeing and fun it can actually be, you won’t feel the need to stay in relationships that aren’t working for you in the future. This will help you feel more relaxed when dating someone new. The stakes won’t be so high in your mind to make it work and you’ll just let things happen naturally. Desperation can cause us to be clingy, jealous, and volatile in relationships, and those qualities aren’t good for anyone. Just embrace your new relationship and rest easy knowing that if it doesn’t work out with this person, you’ll be okay.
  6. You’ll be more independent. Many people rely on their partners for everything in life. Sometimes this is a planned action and sometimes it’s simply developed over time and out of habit. Either way, it can be crippling to depend on someone so much. It’s okay to lean on your partner of course, but when you feel the need to stay with someone because you’re unsure how you’ll get by without them, that’s when things start to become unhealthy. Once you’ve experienced being single for a while, you’ll learn that you can absolutely do life by yourself and that you’re much stronger and more independent than you ever thought. Once you get into a new relationship, you won’t feel the need to rely on your partner so much and that will make you a better girlfriend.
  7. You won’t sweat the small stuff. Being single allows for a ton of self-reflection. You might look back on your past relationships and realize that those small things that used to set you over the edge or get you upset were likely a product of your insecurity or your unhappiness with your relationships. Once you get into a new relationship, likely with a better partner than you had before, you’ll realize that you have less to worry or feel insecure about, and the things that do pop up just won’t matter as much to you. You’ll have trust in your new person and you won’t feel the need to stress over small details which will allow you and your partner to both feel more relaxed and happy.
  8. You’ll focus on your own goals. Another benefit of being single is having the time to focus on your own goals and dreams. You have the time to think up the best possible future for yourself and plan how you’re going to work towards that future. Once you start dating again, the right person will fit perfectly into your plans and will support you and encourage you as you work towards them. People tend to be more attracted to ambitious, goal-oriented women and you’ll be a better girlfriend when you’re working towards your own things.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.