Dealing with malicious people can be emotionally draining and downright frustrating. They thrive on manipulation, control, and creating confusion, ut ihe good news is, once you recognize the tactics they use, you can protect yourself from their drama. Here are 13 common tactics malicious people use and how to handle them.
1. Gaslighting: Making You Doubt Your Reality
Gaslighting is a tactic to make you question your memory, perception, or even your sanity. They might deny things that happened, twist the truth, or tell you that you’re overreacting. It’s a sneaky way to make you lose trust in your own judgment.
How to handle it: Trust your gut. If someone does this to you, keep a record of key conversations and events. When they try to gaslight you, stay calm and grounded in your version of reality. Don’t engage in debates about what “really” happened—stick to the facts.
2. Guilt-Tripping: Making You Feel Responsible for Their Emotions
They’ll use guilt to get what they want, often framing things like, “After all I’ve done for you,” or “I guess I’m just not important.” It’s their manipulative way of making you feel like the bad guy and controlling what you do.
How to handle it: Remind yourself that you’re not responsible for managing their emotions. Set boundaries and calmly but firmly push back when you feel manipulated through guilt. Keep your focus on what’s right for you.
3. Passive-Aggressiveness: Expressing Hostility Indirectly
They’ll use sarcasm, backhanded compliments, or even the silent treatment to avoid direct conflict but still get under your skin. Instead of addressing issues head-on, they find subtle ways to express anger or dissatisfaction.
How to handle it: Call out the behavior by asking direct questions. Try something like: “It seems like something’s bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?” This forces them to confront their feelings instead of hiding behind passive aggression.
4. Blame-Shifting: Avoiding Responsibility
When something goes wrong, they’ll immediately deflect responsibility and point the finger at you. Even if it’s clearly their fault, they’ll twist the situation until you’re the one feeling guilty or at fault.
How to handle it: If they try to shift the blame, calmly reiterate the situation at hand and stick to what actually happened. Don’t let them pull you into an argument where you’re defending yourself for something that wasn’t your fault.
5. Isolation: Cutting You Off From Your Support System
Malicious people will often try to isolate you from friends and family so they can better control you. They might create drama, plant doubts in your mind about people you love, or even guilt you into spending all your time with them. Their end goal is to make you more dependent on them.
How to handle it: Keep your connections strong. Don’t let someone isolate you from the people who care about you. If you recognize them doing this, address it directly with your loved ones, and don’t let anyone drive a wedge between you and your support system.
6. Lies and Half-Truths: Twisting Information to Their Advantage
They’ll often bend the truth, exaggerate details, or leave out key information to manipulate situations in their favor. They may resort to using lies to make themselves look better or to control how others perceive you.
How to handle it: Don’t take everything they say at face value. Verify the facts when you can, and when you catch them lying, calmly confront them with the truth. Make it clear you won’t tolerate dishonesty or manipulation.
7. Playing the Victim: Gaining Sympathy to Avoid Accountability
They love to make themselves out to be the victim, even when they’re the ones causing drama. It’s an easy way to avoid responsibility by gaining sympathy from you or others. You’ll hear phrases like, “Why is everyone always against me?” or “I can’t believe you’re treating me this way after everything I’ve been through.”
How to handle it: Don’t get sucked into their victim narrative. You can empathize with their feelings without excusing their behavior. Hold them accountable for their actions, even if they try to guilt you into feeling sorry for them.
8. Triangulation: Stirring Up Drama Between Others
This tactic involves creating conflict between you and others by spreading rumors, telling half-truths, or manipulating conversations to make people distrust each other. It keeps everyone distracted from their own bad behavior.
How to handle it: If they’re trying to stir up drama, go directly to the source. Don’t take their word for it—reach out to the person involved and clear things up yourself.
9. Love-Bombing: Overwhelming You With Affection to Gain Control
At first, they’ll shower you with attention, affection, and praise—it’ll make you feel like you’re the most important person in the world. But once they have your trust, that’s when the manipulation starts. It’s a tactic they use to create dependency on them early on.
How to handle it: Be cautious when someone comes on too strong too quickly. Relationships should build naturally over time, not instantly. Set boundaries, and don’t feel obligated to reciprocate at the same intensity.
10. Stonewalling: Refusing to Communicate
When they don’t want to deal with an issue or take responsibility, they’ll give you the silent treatment or refuse to address your concerns. This leaves you frustrated and powerless, trying to get them to open up. This is a tactic they use to escape any sort of accountability.
How to handle it: Don’t chase after them because that’s exactly what they want. Let them know you’re ready to talk when they are, but make sure to set a boundary around how long you’re willing to wait.
11. Mocking or Belittling: Undermining Your Confidence
ShutterstockThey’ll make fun of your ideas, decisions, or emotions in subtle or overt ways to undermine your confidence. Whether it’s through teasing or flat-out criticism, the goal is to make you feel small and question your worth.
How to handle it: Call out the behavior. Let them know that it’s not okay to mock or belittle you, and don’t let them get away with brushing it off as “just a joke.” Set firm boundaries around how you expect to be treated.
12. Withholding: Denying Emotional Support
When all else fails, they might withhold affection, approval, or emotional support to punish you. This can make you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells, trying to earn their approval or affection.
How to handle it: Don’t play the game. Recognize when someone is using emotional withholding as a control tactic and refuse to chase after their approval.
13. Excessive Criticism: Constantly Putting You Down
Malicious people may use excessive criticism to chip away at your self-esteem over time. Whether it’s about your appearance, choices, or behavior, they’ll constantly point out your flaws, making you feel like you’re never good enough. This makes them feel better about themselves and makes you easier to control.
How to handle it: Recognize that their criticism is more about control than about you. Set boundaries and make it clear that the behavior isn’t acceptable.
