The Truth About How Men Deal With A Broken Heart, According To A Guy

Guys have a reputation for moving on quickly and not caring all that much after a breakup, but it’s a little unfair to paint us all as cold and emotionless. I can tell you from personal experience that we also go through a mourning period when we suffer a broken heart. We just have a different way of going about things. Here’s how we really deal after it’s over.

  1. We play video games. Don’t tell me that you’re surprised by this. Not all women will understand this, but playing video games is a great way to distract yourself after a breakup. It’s just mindless entertainment that makes you kinda numb and turns your brain off for a while. In a way, it’s like going to therapy without the hefty bill from your therapist afterward. Personally, playing video games has always been a way that I’ve been able to calm down when I’m going through something stressful or emotionally painful.
  2. We go to a strip club. I never said that men always deal with heartbreak in smart and classy ways. For some of us, the best way to numb the pain of a bad breakup is to visit a strip club. In our defense, sometimes it’s our friends dragging us to the club thinking that it’s exactly what we need. I know it’s not the cleanest type of fun, but in theory, it provides the same kind of distraction that video games do, just in a different way. If you want the truth, it usually doesn’t fix a broken heart. There’s usually a brief uplift followed by a crash later on.
  3. We drown our sorrows. In movies, we often see women heating a pint of ice cream after a breakup. Well, a guy with a broken heart goes to a bar for pint after pint of their favorite alcoholic beverage. Obviously, this isn’t a great solution to anything. But if you haven’t caught on by now, guys are all about temporary numbness when dealing with heartbreak. In the moment, having a few (too many) drinks seems like a good idea.
  4. We sleep it off. I’ll be honest, this almost seems like a good idea, right? I’m sure some of you ladies have a similar approach after a breakup. A lot of guys trying to cope with a broken heart just stay in bed and try to sleep the pain away. It doesn’t exactly face the underlying problem head-on, but it’s a great way to escape the pain for a few hours without damaging your brain with mindless video games or alcohol.
  5. We spread lies. For the record, I’m not condoning this. I’m just saying it happens sometimes. The thing is that a lot of guys feel betrayed when we’re left with a broken heart. Plus, we’re not always thinking rationally. As a result, we aim to hurt the person who hurt us by spreading lies about them. Sometimes it’s false rumors about the breakup or straight-up lies designed to embarrass the other person. I want to be clear that not all guys do this, but it has been known to happen.
  6. We (try to) sleep with someone else. Whether you agree with it or not, we all know the old expression that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. When guys are able to hold back their tears after a breakup, they sometimes get right back out there. Of course, someone with a broken heart is in no place for another relationship, so people often get hurt.
  7. We hit the gym. I think most of you will agree that this is the smartest thing we guys do after a breakup. We channel all of that pain into our workouts. This provides a good distraction and is actually beneficial to us. Unfortunately, too many of us ruin it by following our workout with a shirtless gym selfie. On behalf of the guys who do that, please accept my apology.
  8. We beg you to come back. Going through a heartbreak is a little like going through the five stages of grief. At a certain point, we go through the bargaining stage and that means begging you to get back together. Keep in mind that we’re rarely thinking straight, so we get it in our minds that there’s something we could say or do to get back together. This may not be a great idea, but at this point, we’re willing to do just about anything to make the pain go away.
  9. We resort to total isolation. If a breakup hits us hard enough, we may just shut out the world completely. Personally, I can remember turning my phone off and trying to avoid seeing or talking to anybody for days at a time. This isn’t so much a good idea as much as it is the absence of a good idea. But a guy going through a breakup is usually desperate and willing to try anything, even total isolation from the world around us.
Bryan Zarpentine is a freelance writer and editor whose work can be seen in many forms throughout the Information Superhighway.