How To Spot A Serial Dater: Never Ignore These Red Flags

Dating is a tricky game, especially when you’re not looking to play around. If you’re looking for something real and serious, it can be hard to spot out which guys are looking for the same thing and which are looking for…something else. Luckily serial daters tend to show their colors very early on. If you know what to look out for. Here are some red flags that you’re out with a guy who’s definitely not looking to settle down any time soon.

  1. He doesn’t put a lot of effort in. Guys that serial date tend to either recycle the same generic date plan over and over again or worse, don’t have any plan at all. If you go out with a guy and he hasn’t even tried to come up with a remotely original idea for your first date or doesn’t even have a plan for the two of you and just decides to wing it, it’s pretty safe to say that he’s not that concerned with impressing you or holding your attention. He’s not worth your time. Move on to a guy who goes the extra mile.
  2. He doesn’t ask you any personal questions. Some guys like to keep it pretty surface-level on the first date for the sake of not coming on too strong or scaring you off. However, there’s a difference between asking you about your most serious relationship ever and asking you about your job and if you have any siblings. If the guy you’re out with doesn’t seem to be interested in learning anything about you, not only will you be bored out of your mind but, it’s also a huge red flag that he’s not looking to get to know you because he’s not thinking about a second date.
  3. He tries to get physical immediately. Guys who serial date are pretty likely to try to get physical with you right off the bat. If they’re not planning on sticking around for very long before they move on to the next girl, they’re not going to want to wait to take things to the next level intimately with you. The most important thing to remember here is that you should never feel pressured to do anything that you’re not comfortable with. If this guy is worth anything and wants a chance to keep things going with you, he’ll wait as long as you want to. If he isn’t willing to wait or seems to push physical intimacy like there’s some sort of expiration date on your relationship, move one. He’s just looking to tick off another notch on his belt.
  4. He talks about other people he’s gone out with. Another tell-tale sign of a serial dater is if he mentions other people he’s been out with recently or other relationships he’s been in on your first date. When you get to know someone on a deeper and more serious level, it’s normal to discuss past relationships and delve into past romances but definitely not on a first date. He shouldn’t be bringing up other people he’s been seeing on his date with you. You should be his sole focus. If he doesn’t realize what he’s doing and cut it out quickly, he isn’t interested in anything serious with you.
  5. He doesn’t want to make any future plans. Just because you make it past the first few dates doesn’t necessarily mean that he isn’t a serial dater. If things seem to be going well and you propose an idea for something that takes place in the near or distant future and he seems apprehensive, it could be a red flag that he’s looking to make his getaway soon. Serial daters don’t like making future plans because they never stick around that long.
  6. He disappears for days at a time. If the guy you’ve been talking to seems to be present for a day or two then vanishes for hours or days at a time, it could be a sign that he’s a serial dater. The reason he’s ghosting you could be because he refuses to get too close to anyone or it could even mean that he’s going on other dates and talking to other people. If a guy is seriously interested in you and you alone, he won’t disappear for any length of time. He’d never want to risk losing you and besides, if he’s seriously interested in you, he’d never be able to stay away from you for too long.
  7. He confuses things about you with someone else. Serial daters who see and talk to multiple people at once tend to mix up their facts and memories because they’re seeing so many people. If you’re out with a guy and he calls you by the wrong name or mentions something about you that isn’t so or recalls a detail that you have no idea about, it could be because he was just out with another woman and is confusing you with someone else. What a loser.
  8. He doesn’t mind blowing you off. Another red flag that your new guy might be a serial dater is if he has no qualms with blowing you off, even at the last minute. He could just be a jerk but if he’s dating multiple people at once and gets what he thinks could be a better offer from someone else on a whim, he might just blow you off to go hang out with someone else. Any guy that would blow you off for anything definitely doesn’t deserve you and you should blow him off and never look back.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.
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