How To Spot A Yo-Yo & Avoid Him At All Costs

Most of us have had the frustrating experience of dating a yo-yo—the guy who slowly disappears then reels himself back in with a message or a phone call to remind you of his existence just when you’ve almost forgotten about him. Here’s how to spot one so you don’t go falling for him again.

1. Things always start off really well. The yo-yo guy is always super attentive at the start of the relationship. You hit it off really well and start hanging out more often, texting all the time and seeing more and more of each other until it becomes obvious it’s more than friendship. But just when things start getting to that point of seriousness—bam, he is gone.
2. He’s full of compliments and they all seem contrived. The yo-yo is the guy who knows exactly how to make you smile and feel appreciated and loved. He’s an attentive guy and one who notices when you change your hair or when you wear something different. He’ll shower you with compliments to the point that you’ll start to wonder if they’re even genuine because if they are, he’s a little bit scary.
3. He’s a very busy guy, apparently. The yo-yo is attentive when he’s with you but he’s quick to point out that he’s very busy and doesn’t have a lot of free time. He makes you feel like a priority when you’re together because there are so many other things he could be doing instead. On the flip side, when he’s not with you, you can’t be annoyed because his busy schedule means it can’t be helped!
4. He loves to talk. The yo-yo does love to talk and it’s not until later that you realize most of the talking was about himself. This is a guy who loves to bask in the limelight. He shares information about himself willingly and openly so you feel that you can trust him. The thing is, he shares that information with everyone.
5. He’s never there when you need him. It’s such a great little thing you’ve got going on that you find yourself being pretty cute. You’re texting him good luck for his interview and have a safe flight before he boards. You ask if he’s feeling okay the day after he was sick. The thing is that you’ll start to notice it gets pretty one-sided. He’s never there when needed and he definitely won’t remember those little things when it comes to your interviews and your flights.
6. He asks you for advice. There’s something sexy about a guy asking you for advice on something that shows his sensitive side. This is a classic yo- yo trick. Opening up to you and showing you that he trusts your opinion is just another strategy to help reel you in. By all means, offer your honest feedback—but don’t hand over your heart in the process.
7. He doesn’t want to kill the friendship. The yo-yo has some classic dating lines and excuses. Not killing the friendship is much loved by this guy. You see, for him, staying friends with you after he’s already reeled you in and made you interested is perfect. He has you right where he wants you—into him enough to give him what he wants but kept at just the right distance so that he has an excuse for not giving you exactly what you want back.
8. Everything he says is perfect. It’s terrible that the guy who’s playing with your emotions always knows exactly just what to say. Everything that comes out of his mouth is perfect and that’s kind of the problem—it’s all BS. You have to remember that actions speak way louder than words.
9. He disappears quietly and comes back the same way. The yo-yo will be there one minute and gone the next. He’ll edge out of your life as quickly as he barged in. You’ll be seeing each other every other day and making plans for the week after next and then he’ll go missing in action. When the yo-yo disappears, he does it quietly. Suddenly there’ll be no more texts and calls and you’ll be left wondering what the hell you did wrong. With the yo-yo, it’s never anything you did wrong—he’s just not the kind of guy who stays.
10. He has perfect timing. The yo-yo has perfect timing when it comes to both disappearing and reappearing. It’ll be after you’ve just finished a terribly long and hard day at work that he’ll send you a text or give you a call. It’ll be on the day you’re needing a bit of a boost that his impeccable timing will see him contacting you. It’ll make you think his text was a gift sent from God or fate or destiny or whatever but it’s really a nightmare.
11. You eventually outgrow him. I remember playing with yo-yos as a kid. I used to love it seeing it bounce away and then bounce back, but I outgrew them eventually. The exact same thing will happen with this guy. I won’t deny that a relationship with a yo-yo can be exciting and different and yes, definitely keeps you on edge, but it’s not the long-term relationship you want to hold onto. If you’re being strung about and reeled in by a yo-yo, just remember you’ve got the upper hand. You’ll outgrow him, I promise.